


Not so good News (Gabriel x fem!reader)

by Magicrow



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Blood, F/M, Injury, Panic Attacks, Pregnant Reader, Reader-Insert, Serious Injuries, Violence, and a surprise at the end, angsty shit
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-07-25
Updated: 2020-10-03
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:14:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 3
Words: 25,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25502692
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Magicrow/pseuds/Magicrow
Summary: After a successful solo hunt you are driving back to the bunker though you have to make a stop at a gas station. Everything seems normal until some men arrive with the intend to kill you.(It’s a pre-established relationship and (L/N) means “last name”)Warning: blood/injuries, panic attacks, heavy angst and violenceCategory: 100% angst
Relationships: Gabriel & You, Gabriel (Supernatural) & You, Gabriel (Supernatural)/Reader, Gabriel/Reader, Gabriel/pregnant reader
Comments: 6
Kudos: 33





	1. "Not so good News" (1/3)

**Author's Note:**

> Note: I only started season 13 a while ago so I know the timelines don't really match but I wanted the Winchesters to already be in the bunker with Gabriel present. Also, I added a living room in the library area again. Also please no spoilers, thanks!
> 
> Note 2: I have another fic about Gabriel: Flirting. That one is more fluffy.

With a sigh you rubbed your eyes hastily before clutching the wheel of your car again in a tight grip, bringing it back in the lain you were supposed to be driving in. It was pretty late already, well after midnight and you were just returning from a solo hunt you had finished successfully only hours ago that had left you pretty exhausted.

On paper it had sounded like an easy one so you had decided to go alone. You enjoyed hunting with the Winchesters ever since you joined their little team but you had missed being independent and you felt like your skills had gotten a little rusty over time. You just didn't want to depend on someone intervening when you were unable to handle yourself, you wanted to challenge and improve your own skills again. And since the hunt seemed fairly simple, you found out that it was only a ghost, you had decided it was the perfect one to try on your own. Of course, Sam and Dean and especially Gabriel weren't all too pleased by it so you had to promise them that you would call them immediately if something was wrong. Only that you didn't do that even after the job had quickly turned out to be a little more complicated than you had initially thought. It wasn't a huge deal, really. You only had a problem finding the corpse of the ghost. But after teaming up with one of the locals who also had been the best friend of the ghost you were able to put the pieces together and find the corpse in the forest in which they had buried him in after an accident.

At least that was what you had told the boys over the phone after you had finished the hunt. You purposefully didn't tell them about the man -not ghost- trying to kill you and the local to hinder you from finding out the truth. The truth was him being the cause of the ghost's death. Anyway, after dealing with him the ghost was able to move on without the need of the corpse being burned. Maybe you would tell Gabriel the real story sometimes since the hunt was fairly interesting otherwise. But for that to happen you had to arrive at the bunker first which meant another good hour of driving. You yawned again. It was pretty late at night and you were still driving down the empty road with your eyes growing heavier by the second. The small inconveniences during the hunt only added up to your inability to sleep currently which was why your body was so exhausted now. Normally you would have searched for a motel now and slept there for the night but you really wanted to return to the bunker as fast as possible and since you were almost there you tried to force your body to carry on. Not that you could have slept if you had found a motel anyway. You just wanted to return to Gabriel and snuggle with him. Maybe then you would be able to sleep again. The archangel always had a soothing effect on you even though he was so full of energy himself. But whenever you needed a distraction or were just too stressed one hug from him was the only thing you needed to cheer you up.

Right now the mere thought of him improved your mindset and made you smile softly though it got interrupted by another yawn. Damn, you were really tired and your body ached and hurt. You cursed the psychotic man who had tried to kill you and you even cursed yourself under your breath. You just had to tackle him to the ground in a forest in which the ground was uneven. You could still feel every stone and branch stabbing in your back. Gripping your jaw you massaged the black bruise there. At least the man's punch had only left a bruise and not completely dislocated your jaw. Nevertheless it still hurt.

Groaning you blinked rapidly to avoid falling asleep while driving when you noticed a gas station coming up. Maybe they would have some coffee to go for you so your eyes wouldn't fall close all the time. You just needed to drive for one more hour but you feared your body would just collapse if you wouldn't get something to keep you awake.

You stepped out of your car after you had parked it in one of the lots and put your keys in a pocket of your jacket. With a sigh you breathed in the fresh night air and looked around. The road you had followed up until now was surrounded by trees which now creaked once in a while as they were moved by the harsh wind. It was dark, long shadows stretched from the woods towards you with the only light source being the lights from the gas station to shoo them away. They illuminated the front row of the trees, making them appear not as frightening or unpredictable as the darkness behind them. But all in all it was a beautiful, quiet night and for a few more moments you just stood there, leaning against the car door and enjoying the silence and harmony. Looking up you admired the night sky and the stars dancing above you. There weren't any clouds covering them up tonight so you could see every single one, sparkling brightly so full of life. However, they were only small lights in the dark, not illuminating anything near you but still brightening up your mind. Though you were used to the darkness of the night, used by it through many hunts that had dragged on till the sun would rise up again so the blackness of the sky and nature around you seemed comforting now. But that hasn't always been the case because when you had been little you had feared the darkness and the monsters lurking in it. Like every child you had feared the monster in your closet or under your bed but not like every child you had to experience the painful truth. You had to learn that those monsters were real and you had to learn how to survive them. And to be honest you had feared the darkness up until adulthood, even after becoming a hunter. There were times in which you hadn't been able to sleep because you had feared another monster would try to attack you. You never continued with a hunt when it got dark which was very limiting because many only appeared in the night. You only got better at handling your fear after meeting and teaming up with the Winchesters. And after a while you learned to work with the darkness and not fight against it. So even though there were shadows all around you, stretching towards you, you didn't care. Your heart didn't even skip a beat anymore, you were completely calm. So why were you unable to sleep properly currently?

Another sigh left your lips as you stretched your limps and broke away from your car. Rubbing your eyes and yawning loudly you walked to the shop which seemed like a little sun in the sea of darkness. Like a moth to a flame you got drawn towards it, or rather by the thought of a hot cup of coffee. But you continued to wonder about your nightly problems. You had never really been an insomniac before except for the time when you had been terrified by the dark so you really couldn't tell what your problem was all of the sudden. It seemed like you grew tired fairly easily but then when you would lie down you were unable to fall asleep and rest. It got very irritating and even caused some unpleasant outburst and mood swings which were often directed to Gabriel, Sam and Dean and sometimes even to Cas. You didn't want to get in their face and yell or growl at them all the time but without your much needed sleep you snapped very quickly. If another outburst had occurred you always made sure to apologize afterwards when your temper had cooled down but you felt awful about it nevertheless. However, you had noticed then when on a hunt you would snap more often which was also a hidden reason why you wanted to do one on your own.

You had reached the shop while lost in your thoughts so you shook your head to clear it and then entered the small building. Looking around you noticed that the cashier was nowhere to be found. You figured that they would be in the backroom for a quick nap and since you didn't want to impose right away you decided to look at the aisles first. You immediately found different types of chips and snacks though your eyes got stuck by the chocolate bars. You normally loved chocolate and would have bought some immediately without question, maybe even to share with Gabriel later on, but when you looked at them a nauseous wave struck you. Gulping you turned your gaze away from the sweets as you felt rather ill all of the sudden. This was another thing you experienced more frequently since a couple of days and again you had no clue as of why. You hadn't caught the flu or any other stomach bug so you had to continue wondering what was up with your body currently. Turning away from the aisles completely you wanted to walk up to the counter and ring for the cashier to ask for some coffee when you saw four men approaching the shop. There wouldn't be anything unusual about that if you hadn't noticed that there was no car parked in the parking lot except for yours. Immediately your body and mind froze. The only way to reach this station was by car since the last and next city were about two hours away. So how did they get here?

Your heart beat quickened as they reached the door. Your sleep-deprived mind screamed at you to move as your hunter instincts took over but your body wouldn't obey. The men had entered the shop and now stood directly in front of you. Your trained senses from being a hunter rang in alarm; they screamed at you that something wasn't right, that their intentions weren't good. An uneasy feeling washed down your back as you glanced between the four men, trying to find out what they had planned but you couldn't focus your mind on them. You crossed your arms before your chest in a defensive manner and stared at them, taking one step back. All of the four men were dressed in black suits with matching ties. Did you end up in the men in black? If it weren't so late at night and the air so full of tension you probably would have laughed at the silliness of their entrance and appearance. Maybe you even would have thought that this could be one of Gabriel's many pranks but by the way these men looked at you with so much disgust in their eyes you knew that this was not a game. The man closest to you took another step forward which made you back away against one of the shelves. You had walked into a trap without realizing it.

"(Y/N) (L/N)" the man spoke and looked down at you like you were only an insect to him. Taken aback you furrowed your brows and bit your tongue. Who were those men and why did they know you? They didn't seem familiar to you at all. Your breath hitched and you grabbed the shelf in a tight grip, trying to maintain a level head and not lose yourself in panic. You were a skilled hunter, no doubt in that but in your sleep-deprived state you definitely wouldn't be able to take on four men on your own. And this realization scared you more than you would like to admit. You knew that if this would escalate into a fight you wouldn't stand a chance especially cornered like that. Reluctantly you had to acknowledge that you weren't only very scared right now but also in a seemingly hopeless situation. Gulping you opened your mouth to speak: "What do you want?"

The men didn't answer you with words but by drawing their blades. However, they weren't normal blades. Your eyes widen in fear as you realized that they were angel blades. These men were angels.

You opened your mouth again but before a single word could escape over your lips the man closest to you swung the blade towards your chest. Immediately your adrenaline kicked in and all traces of sleepiness were gone as sheer terror took over your mind and body. You managed to dodge the attack and kick the man's arm away from your chest only barely. The tip still grazed your shoulder, making you hiss as you spun around and tried to run to the exit only to see that the three other men had blocked the door. Your body froze again as your mind spun in panic. You stood there like a deer caught in the headlights with no idea how to escape. The three men came towards you which made you even more anxious. How should you fight three people in front of you while also watching out for the one behind you … wait. You spun around to face the fourth man just as he rammed the blade into your side. You looked down, you knew that something had hit you but you didn't feel it yet. But luckily it only slashed your side. If you hadn't turned around he probably would have stabbed you right through the middle of your back. Your eyes snapped back up to meet his in the same moment as he grabbed your hurt shoulder with his free arm and rammed you against another shelf. He had pinned you against it with his arm presses against your throat. He let you struggle for breath. Instinctively you dug your fingernails in his arm and tore at the flesh, trying to pry him off. But he wouldn't butch. So you decided to kick him against both shins instead. His vessel moved a bit, allowing you enough wriggle room to push the arm away. Now able to breathe again you instantly clawed at the other arm which was holding the blade that was still scraping your side. Before even your mind could catch up you had already brought it down against your knee. Since they were angels you knew you couldn't hurt them much, however his vessel still reacted to the blow and his fingers let go of the blade. You caught it before it could hit the ground and then pushed the man away from you. Catching your breath you held the blade out towards the four men in a threatening manner.

"What-" you huffed. The adrenaline in your veins made your heart beat uncontrollably fast and your breath choppy. "What do you want from me?"

Again you didn't get a verbal answer. Instead they began to walk towards you again. Struck with fear you ran. You pushed the man without a blade out of your way and ran towards the door. You had to get to your car, had to get away. Your breathing was livid as you ran but you didn't seem to be able to get any air inside your lungs. Your mind screamed at you. You couldn't believe angels wanted to kill you. Angels were out to kill you. Why? What had you done? Your grip around the blade tightened as you tried to ground yourself in reality. It didn't matter. You just had to get away. You could continue thinking about the reason later. But you saw it. You saw their duty to kill you in their eyes. And they were willing to.

You had almost reached the car when a fifth man walked out from behind it, his blade already drawn and angled towards you. Unable to stop you just duck under his blow and continued running. You ran into the woods. It got very dark pretty quickly but your mind screamed at you to not stop. So you ran further until you were unable to see any light from the gas station anymore. Then you took a sharp turn to the right and hid behind a tree. You clutched the blade against your shaking chest; you grabbed it tightly like it was a lifeline. Your breath stuttered over your lips, the air left you faster than the blood flowing out of your wound. The wound. Only then you remembered your bleeding side. And only then the pain finally hit you, it crushed brutally over you like a wave. Gasping for air you patted down your left side and hissed when you touched the open wound. You couldn't see any blood in the darkness but you felt the substance coating your fingers. You saw the bright red color through your inner eye.

You pressed the hand against the wound and bit your lip, drawing more blood as you tried to not scream out in pain. The angels would be searching for you so you had to stay quiet, no matter how difficult that was right now because you could already hear their footsteps, the crunching noise of leaves breaking under their feet. And it was coming closer. You attached the blade on your belt to push yourself up with your now free hand pressed against the tree, your right hand still pressed against the wound. A low groan left your lips before you were able to suppress it. Cursing under your breath you began to walk away from the crunching noises. You had to make a loop around them to get back to your car. You had to keep going. Another sound left your lips that resemble a high-pitched yelp more than a low groan. "I can't" you wheezed and collapsed to the ground as another wave of pain hit you. Your breathing was shallow; you didn't even seem to get any air inside your lungs anymore. They burned as much as the stab wound on your side. What should you do? What were you supposed to do? Oh God you couldn't fight five angels normally on your own let alone in your current condition. You felt tears streaming down your face before the first sob cut through your body. Clutching your chest you bend over, heaving though nothing came out apart from shallow breathing. But the nauseous feeling stayed. You couldn't stop gaging.

"Gabe" you stammered out between irregular breaths while crying even harder. "Gabe, oh God please help me." You wished he would appear in front of you, safe you, get you out of there. But he didn't show up. And through your in panic scattered mind you were able to grab one clear thought. You wondered if the angels had blocked you from reaching any other angel.

You had to find a way out of here on your own. You had to fight. You had to get away. So you pulled yourself up again.

"Don't think about the pain. The blood on my hand. My blood."

You cried out as another wave of pain burned through you. But you carried on, you had to, you had to continue walking back towards the car. You clenched your teeth and pulled through, pushed forward. After a while you noticed that you couldn't hear any footsteps anymore. But that revelation didn't calm you down. The silence of the forest, the silence of the darkness freaked you out even more. You felt like a kid again, you felt how you had when you had feared the dark and the monsters in it as a hunter. You saw shadows move around you, stretching towards you, trying to grab you. You saw your bedroom in front of your inner eye, your closet encased in the darkness and the shadows dancing in front of your window. You grabbed your blanket from your bed; put it over your head in a desperate attempt to hide from the monsters. You whimpered, not believing that this was real. It wasn't real. You weren't a kid anymore. Shaking your head you tried to escape from the pictures in your mind. And as your vision cleared your breathing hitched and you broke out in a cold sweat. You were surrounded by trees. You had run into the forest, remember. Long shadows. Was there someone behind you? You jumped as you heard something break. Just a branch. Who was there? Fearful your eyes darted around, trying to catch a glimpse of the monsters that were after you. But they weren't monsters, they were angels. Groaning in pain you shook your head and began to walk again.

"Don't think about it. It's only shadows, only the darkness of the night. It's comforting not frightening" you whispered, trying to convince yourself. "You work in the dark. It's comforting not frightening."

You yelped as you stepped into a tiny hole, stretching your injured side painfully. Holding yourself upright by leaning on a tree you tried to catch your breath. By now your whole side seemed to be engulfed in flames. You felt like you were burning alive. Cursing under your heavy breathing you dug your nails over the flesh of your wound. It hurt but this pain distracted you from the greater pain which pulsed through you like fire.

Gritting your teeth again you pushed yourself forward. You could already see the lights from the gas station again. You almost made it. Only a couple more steps. The hope to get away filled you with determination. You could do it. You groaned.

"I can do it."

Huffing you stopped behind another tree to observe the parking lot of the gas station. You didn't see anything suspicious at first but just when you decided to leave the protective shadows you saw the fifth man circling your car. Your heart beat painfully fast as you stopped your movement and stepped back into the darkness. What were you supposed to do now? What to do? You clutched the wound on your side as panic was flooding over you, pushed you down like a wave in the ocean. Your breathing hitched even though you seemed to not get any air in your lungs. You couldn't breathe, you felt like you were trapped underwater. Your head spun in dizziness.

Shaking your head you looked down at your wound. For the first time you could make it out in the dim light of the gas station. Taking off your jacket, which had a hole ripped in by the blade, you checked the injury. It was a deep gash you knew so much but by all the blood covering your shirt and body your side could as well be ripped open completely. As you palpated the wound you hissed. Definitely deep. You looked at your freshly blood covered fingers. And still bleeding. You needed to stop the bleeding even if it was only for a short while. So you removed your shirt and ripped it apart to wrap it around your torso like a bandage. It wouldn't do much, you knew that, but maybe it would slow down the bleeding so you wouldn't pass out because of blood loss. After you had secured it tightly you put on your jacket again, zipping it up to the very top. You had to focus.

"Focus! You can handle one angel."

You grabbed the angel blade and detached it from your belt, weighting it in your blood covered hand.

"My blood."

Shaking your head you turned to the gas station, looking at your car which was still circled by the man. He had his blade drawn, too and watchful eyes that scanned the whole ground. You would have to sneak up on him. Looking down at your blood covered side you nodded to yourself. You wouldn't be able to win a frontal confrontation with him in your state. So you began to move forward, still engulfed by the shadows of the trees. He was watching the part of the woods you had escaped into earlier the most, the part which was closest to your car. You had to move to the side and sneak up on the angel from further away, hoping he wouldn't turn to you. It wasn't much of a plan but you had no other option. Your pulse was racing, making your body shiver and your skin tingle.

"Concentration" you reminded yourself. You waited for the angel to finish his round to look at the specific part of the woods again. The man stopped and turned to the trees. Now was your chance. So you began to speed-walk towards him as silently as you could muster, blade drawn. You were only a few steps away from the man when he turned around, his eyes widening in realization. Without thinking you jumped forward and tackled him to the ground, pinning his hand which held the blade down with your knee. Raising the blade above your head you hesitated to bring it down into the angel's chest. They wanted to kill you and you didn't even know why but you still hesitated. And of course the man saw his chance and exploited your weakness. With his free hand he punched you in the face. With disoriented view and mind your grip on him loosened which led to him kneeing into your already injured side. Screaming out in pain you felt the blade leave your hands as you clutched your wound instead. Your eyesight got hazy, black dots dancing in front of you, laughing at you. What was happening? Before your sight could clear again or before you knew it the angel had knocked you down and was now the one leaning above you. Groaning you blinked rapidly until your sight got better. Just to face the man grabbing his blade and bringing it down towards you. With your eyes wide in horror you put your hands protectively out in front of you. You grabbed his arms as the blade only barely hovered over your throat, desperately trying to push him further away. But you were in a poor position with your strength leaving your body quickly. The blade hovered dangerously close over your throat, taunting you. Your arms were shaking, your breathing irregular and heart stuttering. Grunting you channeled the last drops of your strength and pushed his hands to the side with a cry. The blade pierced through your shoulder that had been nicked by the blade earlier which was now lying on the ground beside you. A high-pitched scream left your trembling lips as tears exploded from your eyes, streaming down your dirt covered face. You searched for your blade blindly, scanning the ground with your hands until the tips of your fingers touched its cold, smooth handle. With a loud battle cry you grabbed the blade as the angel pulled his out of your shoulder. Sitting up you rammed the blade inside the angel's chest and watched as he screamed and got illuminated by a bright light which made you squint your eyes. Then the man's body went limp and fell to the ground beside you. Groaning and wheezing you pushed yourself up only to fall back to the ground. With shaking hands you reached out towards your right shoulder, stretching your injured side in the progress which made you hiss. As you touched the wound you immediately gasped for air, trying to hold back the tears that already filled your eyes again. This was bad. Turning around you pushed yourself up on your knees and looked at your hands. Your hands were red, deep red. A red sea, blood sea. Blood. You were losing too much blood. Your body ached. It hurt so badly. You gaged. God, you felt so nauseous. And so tired. You felt the adrenaline slowly leave your body, leaving you exhausted. You wouldn't survive very long in your state with four more angels on the hunt for you and without any help.

"Gabriel" you tried again. "Gabe, please help me. I need you here, please."

But he didn't show up. You were still blocked, unable to reach him. You had to get away from the other angels. You had to get into your car.

Panting you grabbed the keys from your pocket and heaved yourself up right. You stumbled to your car, unlocked it and fell onto the driver's seat with a suppressed scream. Get away. Flee now. You closed the door and started the motor with a grunt. As you put the car into reverse, moving your injured shoulder to do so, you cried out again. Grabbing the wheel you saw the blood now sticking on the leathery material. Blood everywhere. Your body screamed and ached. It hurt so badly. Your eyes darted around in the inside of the car. Blood was flowing out of your shoulder and side, seeping through the temporary bandage and covering your car, painting it red. You shook your head.

"Concentration!" you hissed. You pulled out of the parking spot just as one angel left the forest. You saw the hatred in his eyes, the fury and disgust glistening in the inhuman eyes. You had to get away. Now! You stepped on the gas immediately. You wouldn't hesitate anymore. Get away! Your mind was blank. The only thought on your mind was to escape. You wanted to see Gabriel again. You had to. You had to get away.

You didn't see back, didn't turn around or look if they were following you. They weren't. Your fingers were wrapped around the steering wheel so tightly that your knuckles stood out white and prominent and your nails dug into your palms. Nevertheless you weren't able to suppress the shaking of your body, no matter how much you tensed up. You heaved again, felt like throwing up again but like before nothing came out as your body continued to tremble. You didn't even see the road anymore; it was hidden behind a curtain of tears. Were you even still driving or standing still? You sharply sucked in the air. Focus. You need to focus. But the control was slipping away from you like the surface when thrown underwater. The wave was pressing you down again and you sunk deeper and deeper. The pressure of the water above you pinned you down; it sat on your chest and made you unable to breathe. Gasping and groaning you tried to claw at the surface, tried to reach it but you couldn't. You were sinking. You were drowning.

And then you opened your eyes and you were back in your childhood bedroom. It was dark. The only light illuminating some of the room was creeping from under the door. It made the button eyes of your stuffed animals which had always protected you before glister viciously. It made them scary. They terrified you. You wanted to call for your parents but your mouth was too dry and your tongue seemed to be tied into a knot. So you turned away instead only to see thin arms scratching on the glass of your window, begging you to let them in. The darkness was suffocating, it was cold and hot and scary and you were helpless. You were only a child. What were you supposed to do? You couldn't fight. You couldn't fight the darkness, the fear and panic. Hot tears were streaming down you face as you tried to fill your lungs with air. The shadows were looming over you, eating away the light and leaving you behind in complete empty darkness.

Another scream left your lips as the pain in your shoulder seemed to explode. Brought back into reality you step on the breaks so suddenly that your body was almost thrown forward. You howled, clutched your shoulder and threw your head back. There were still tears clouding your eyes and hazy thoughts clouding your mind but you knew where you were again. You were in your car. Gasping. You could only gasp. But breathing was hard. Really hard. Another cry left your lips. Air. You clawed at your throat. You needed air. What was only happened? Why- angels wanted to kill you. What was happening here? You head pounded painfully. Your breathing hitched again and your thoughts got mushy. It was as if you could only see them through a thick fog, as if they were obscured from yourself. Angels wanted to kill you. You felt so sick. You were losing blood quickly. But what... what were you supposed to do? Bandage. You had none. A scream spilled over your lips and then another one. It hurt so badly and you were so weak. Weak and getting even weaker by the second. Shaking your head you tried to sort your thoughts. You had to concentrate. But there was nothing that could hold you in reality. Until your phone rang. Grabbing it with shaking fingers you saw that it was Gabriel calling you. Gabriel. Your Gabriel. You accepted the call. You wanted to say something but nothing came out. It was like your throat was laced up tight. You were still gasping for air. You felt like fish on dry land, surrounded by air, by oxygen but unable to breathe it in.

"(Y/N)?" Gabriel asked with worry in his voice after you hadn't said anything for many seconds. You immediately sobbed, not able to suppress it and the screech of pain afterwards.

"(Y/N)!" the archangel yelled. You sucked in the air, preparing yourself to answer him. But your body shook so much you feared your voice would too.

"Gabe" you finally hiccupped while wailing in pain. Clutching your side you hissed. "Gabe, help me."

You sounded pathetic. You were a hunter you should have been used to dangerous situations like this one. But the revelation that angels were after you shook you more than you would like to admit. So you sounded like a desperate child and you felt like a helpless child. You were injured. Baldy injured. And you needed help.

"Where are you? What happened?" he asked but you didn't even seem to register it. Your mind was so cloudy. You felt like you were spacing out and in constantly. You felt like throwing up again. But you managed to push one clear thought through as you prayed to him: "I'm here, Gabriel." You hoped that he would find you this time; that you could reach him this time. You groaned and let your phone fall onto the floor of the car. Your arm was too weak to hold it to your ear any longer. Your breath stuttered over your lips as a tingling sensation took control over your shaking body. You only faintly noticed your car door opening and the voice yelling your name. Only when he touched you, you looked to your left and saw Gabriel standing on the street. His eyes were filled with worry and shock as he saw the state you were in. He grabbed you, picked you up onto his arms and before you knew it you suddenly were in the bunker.

"(Y/N)?" you could hear Sam's cry of worry but we're unable to answer him.

"Gabriel, what happened?" Dean asked the archangel who still held you in his arms. You were probably bleeding all over him. Bleeding. Your wounds. You groaned again, gasping for air and clutched at Gabriel's shirt. You couldn't tell if your disoriented vision was sat on his face or if you were staring at the ceiling.

"Why is she still in pain? Haven't you healed her?" Dean accused the archangel with his voice filled with distrust.

"Of course, I healed her" Gabriel snapped back and began walking to the couch on the side of the library. "But she has lost a lot of blood so she will still feel tired and in pain for some time." the archangel laid you down on the cushions which made you groan again.

"Gabe" you gasped and reached out to him even though you still weren't really able to see clearly. But Gabriel grabbed your hand and sat down beside you. He held your hand close to him in both of his hands and waited for your breathing to calm down, whispering soothing words you weren't even able to really understand. Blinking away the tears you finally were able to make out his face.

"Ga-" you started but clenched your teeth as another wave of pain, phantom pain burned through you.

"Angels" you panted. Sam and Dean joined the two of you, standing behind Gabriel and looking down at you, worried. "They tried..." you gasped, your body tensed up again. "..to kill me."

To your surprise the three men standing over you didn't seem surprised.

"We know" Gabriel said and the Winchesters nodded. Confused you furrowed your brows and tried to sit up with your back pressed against the arm rest. Slowly the pain seemed to wash away, though your body was still sore and tired.

"What? Wh-why?" you asked and freed your hand from Gabriel's grasp. You pressed that one against your skull. The headache was still pounding against it but at least your breathing seemed to regulate itself again. You saw up to them, waited for an answer, an explanation. But they stayed silent, looked at each other before turning their focus back to you.

"Gabe?" you addressed him directly.

"It's because..." he started but you could see the conflict in his eyes, the fear and worry dulling his usually bright honey eyes. You braced yourself, or at least tried to because what he said next ... you would have never expected that.

"It's because you're pregnant."

You blinked rapidly and opened your mouth but no sound stepped over your lips. Suddenly you felt very nauseous again and clutched your stomach out of instinct.

"Wha-what?" Was that a joke? Another one of his pranks?

"You're joking..." you stammered and shook your head. This couldn't be real. You glanced at Sam and Dean but they seemed very serious. You looked back at Gabriel. "This can't be real. Is this a joke?"

"I'm serious" the archangel said and reached out to you but you flinched back instinctively. Hurt flashed over his face. But you couldn't react to it as another wave of panic threatened to crash over you again. You were pregnant. You were pregnant with Gabriel's child. A Nephilim. You began to gag and heave again, bending over as new tears spilled out of your eyes. Grasping your throat instinctively you tried to pry the invisible hands off. You were shivering and shaking like a leave again. This couldn't be real. Your body heated up only to cool down immediately afterwards. Or maybe you just imagined it. Or you were just going crazy. You gaged again as dizziness closed its claws around you: The darkness closed its claws around you again. You felt as helpless as a kid. You felt as helpless as you were when you had been only a kid. You felt so sick. So weak. So overwhelmed. Your breathing hitched, got more rapid. Pregnant. Not a joke. You were...

"Pregnant." Was that a question, an observation? The reflex to gag stopped and suddenly you felt very tired as the adrenaline left your system.

Nephilim. They were forbidden. You would be killed because you were pregnant with one.

"How do you...?" you asked and straightened up again. Your gaze was flickering around as panic slowly closed its claws around you again.

"Angel radio" Gabriel replied. "Every angel knows."

You stayed silent. You didn't know what to say.

"Did you know?" the archangel asked. You only shook your head, unable to reply with words. You felt so nauseous.

"What am I supposed to do now?" you asked not directed to anyone specifically.

"We will protect you" Dean said. "And the baby."

Sam agreed as well as Gabriel. They began to talk but you didn't even hear them.

You were pregnant. This was the only thought spinning in your mind. Pregnant. What were you supposed to do now? What should you do? This can't be happening. Your breathing got shallow again. This wasn't real. You were still in that small town, occupied with that ghost hunt. You were, only dreaming. This had to be a dream. This wasn't real. It couldn't be real. This wasn't happening. Your wounds began to burn again. But they were healed. They couldn't burn. You only imagined the pain. This wasn't real. All of this couldn't be real.

"Hey." You snapped back into reality. Looking up you met Gabriel's soft eyes. He tried to appear calm and collected, tried to sooth you but you knew that behind his honey colored eyes a storm like the one inside of you was raging. He was panicking as well but he managed to look at you with so much love you almost forgot all those worrying thoughts that were screaming inside your mind.

"Everything will be alright" Gabriel said and squeezed your hand before continuing to draw circles on the back of it. You nodded and smiled at him. Or at least you tried because you knew that only one of you would survive this pregnancy: You or the child. And you wouldn't let you be the one to end up alive.

**To be continued?**

_________________________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I purposefully didn’t state that the reader is pregnant in the beginning so it would be as surprising as it is in the story. Did I succeed?🤔
> 
> Also: I have a tumblr! (magicrowiswritingstuff)  
> I'm more active and easier to reach there.


	2. "Not so good News" (2/3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After you had received the news of your pregnancy you feel rather conflicted. On one hand you want this child to live but on the other hand this also means you will die giving birth. Your only option is to enjoy the time you have left with the people you love, forcing your dark thoughts to the back of your head.  
> (F/N) means friend’s name.
> 
> Warning: dark thoughts/themes, suggestive themes, heavy angst, swear words, death 
> 
> Category: angst and fluff, even more angst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note 1: So it’s finally done… however, because the sequel got so long I decided to split this series into three parts. So this is the second and the last one will be up next weekend (hopefully).
> 
> Note 2: Also… I finished season 13 (SPOILERS! ahead). Sooo, I guess he’s alive… or at least was. I normally try to avoid spoilers of any kind but after the last episode of season 13 I had to look if he pranked us yet again so I looked up if he would return in any future episodes. NO. Okay, I guess. Doesn’t bother me, not at all. Naaaahh. I’m juts gonna go and … cry in my room now… so yeah. Enjoy my piece of writing.

_**Pregnancy Week 4:**_  
"You really shouldn't do so much physical labor, sugar" Gabriel commented as he leaned against the side of your car with his arms crossed before his chest. You only huffed, rolled your eyes and continued getting rid of all the blood on the driver's seat of your car. Of course it wasn't easy work, it was hard even because the blood stains were already a day old and dry. But it was your blood and your car and you wanted to clean it. You wanted to do something after receiving the ... news. You needed to occupy your mind.  
Groaning you grabbed the dishwashing detergent-water mixture and dipped the sponge in it rather aggressively. Muttering under your breath you got back to work. All of this pissed you off. The blood stains, your condition ...this pregnancy. This wasn't how you imagined your life to go or end even. You knew the life of a hunter was dangerous but you always thought that if you wouldn't grow old you would be killed on a hunt ... not after being trapped in the bunker for nine months. This just didn't seem real, it wasn't fair. You scrubbed the car seat over and over again even though the blood was long gone on this spot. This wasn't fair.

"(Y/N)."  
"What?!" you snapped and turned around to face the archangel, steaming with fury and anger. But the moment you met his worried eyes the rage inside of you vanished and was replaced by guilt. By guilt and by anger directed at yourself. Your mood swings were ... you were hurting others again. The sponge fell from your hands and to the ground just like you did too. With your face buried in your hands you sank down, leaning against the car and sobbed. Tears were streaming down your face as sharp cries tore through your throat. This was too much, it was all too much. You didn't want this, not like that. You didn't want to hurt him just because you had no idea what you were supposed to do with your anger. This wasn't fair to him. This wasn’t fair. You felt him beside you, hugging you but you couldn't react. You were horrible. You weren’t fair to him.

"Baby ... honey, please. It's alright, you're alright" he whispered into your ear as he pulled you on his lap. Immediately you buried your face into his chest, clawed at his shirt and pressed yourself against him. No. This was all wrong. Wasn't it supposed to be magical? Wasn't it supposed to be great news?! You should cry tears of joy not sadness and anger. This was all wrong.  
"No" you hiccupped and shook your head. "I'm not alright." You would die. Your days were numbered and you would only live to count them every day. This is not fair.  
Gabriel grabbed your shoulders and carefully pushed you away so he could look at your face. Whipping away your tears you looked to your side, unable to meet his eyes. But he cupped your cheeks lovingly and directed your gaze back at him. He searched your face for something, a hint. He seemed so worried. It broke your heart. You bit back another sob.  
"What do you mean?" he asked and pushed back a hair strand that had fallen in your face.  
"I know this won't end well" you admitted. "I know I will die."  
The eyes of the archangel widen in shook. Didn't he know? Was he surprised at the news? Maybe it wasn't true? Maybe you wouldn't have to die?

"How do you know this?"  
You gulped, all the hope you had dared to feel vanished in an instance as you pried off his hands from your face. Slipping off of his lap you curled up with your knees pressed against your chest.  
"I researched everything about angels, I questioned Cas about everything even before I met you" you said and looked up again, locked eyes with him again. His honey-colored orbs were filled with worry, he was looking at you like this ever since he had found you in your car, almost bleeding to death. You hurt him. Him seeing you so beaten had hurt him. Grabbing his hand you squeezed it out of instinct.  
"I always knew about the risks of sleeping with you, of unwantedly getting pregnant" you started. "I just never thought it would happen."  
Immediately you were trapped in another tight hug.

"I'm sorry."

"No!" you yelped and wrapped your arms tightly around him, too. "Don't be sorry! It's not your fault. Sometimes just shit happens." You pressed yourself against him, hugged him so tightly like a baby koala its mother. This wasn't his fault. It wasn't yours either. It was just bad luck, unfortunate, maybe not fair but you would have to live with it. And you wouldn't let that child feel the consequences of this unlucky situation. This child would live and be happy … without you.

____________________

 _Pregnancy Week 5:_  
Whenever someone would ask you how you were, how you felt you always lied. You always answered with "fine" like it was expected of you. But if you were to be honest you would said you were unhappy, sad, discouraged and miserable even. You felt awful. And your pregnancy symptoms didn't help that either. When you were alone, when you would retreat into your room, your safe zone, you could never hold back the tears. Gabriel wasn't in your room that often since he was an archangel and didn't really need to sleep. He still lied beside you at night and hold you but you would cry more during the day and then pass out at night in his arms. So you lied on your bed all day and just cried until you had no tears left. No one seemed to notice the red in your eyes or the rings under them, the tiredness in every muscle or the emptiness in your facial expressions. Or if they did they didn't dare to address it.  
You felt nauseous almost all day, too. You smelled Dean's unholy food and you were ready to throw up again. You smelled your half cup of coffee and you were ready to throw up again. But you needed that coffee. You had reduced it but without it you were unable to wake up. Not that you were very active anyway but it helped a little. You felt ill, like an empty shell of your former self.

"(Y/N)?"  
You slowly rolled over so you could look at the door to your room. The worried, honey eyes of Gabriel met your tired ones. Hastily you wiped away the last tears still clinging to your skin and sat up, your blanket still tightly wrapped around you.  
"What's up?" you asked, trying to sound happy and energetic even if it made you cringe internally.  
"You don't have to pretend" he said and walked towards the bed. You didn't even try to come up with a lie or continue with the act and just flopped back down on the mattress, while pulling the blanket over your head, hiding your teary face from him. You felt the bed dip beside you.  
"(Y/N). Please talk to me, sugar" he begged as you felt his hand on your shoulder. Slowly he pushed the blanket from your face, revealing fresh tears that had escaped from your eyes as you helplessly looked at him. A bagging glance, bagging for him to do something you didn’t even know about. Bagging for help of any sort.  
"I can't, Gabe" you hiccupped. "I don't know- what am I supposed to tell you? That I'm a mess? That I can't handle this? That I don't even have enough energy to leave the bed at all?" Pressing the palms of your hands against your eyes you forcefully tried to bite back your sobs.  
"What do you want to hear, Gabe?" you cried and rolled over so you wouldn't have to face the archangel no more. But before you knew it you felt his arms wrapped around you as he pressed your back against him. The warmth radiating from him soothed you instantly so your sobs were slowly reduced to the occasional hiccup.  
"Just tell me that you're hurting. Tell me that you aren't fine. Tell me how I can help you" Gabriel said, pressing his face in your hair. With a sigh you turned around to face him again, not bothering to wipe away the tears this time.  
"I don't know, Gabriel" you began. "I don't even know what I can do."  
"There has to be something that can help you, even if it's just for a little while."  
You closed your eyes and buried your face in his neck. "Just hold me for now."

The next time you opened your eyes the room was dark and the bed cold. At first you just stayed put, with your eyes open and darting around. You wouldn't fall asleep for a while you knew so much. So you sat up, rubbed your eyes and looked around but Gabriel was nowhere to be seen. With a silent groan you wrapped your blanket around you and stood up. Opening the door you listened for any sounds but the bunker stayed silent. Nevertheless you decided to sneak until you had reached the library which was also abandoned and dark. Sitting down on a chair you turned on one of the lamps on the desk and grabbed your laptop. You had this idea in your head for some days now but still you hesitated for a second before eventually pressing the record button. Your empty eyes blinked at you and for a while you just stared right back.  
"Hey, baby" you finally said with the tiniest smile on your lips. Pushing back some of your hair you fumbled with your next words. "You probably don't know who I am" you glanced to your side before directing your eyes back to the screen.  
"I'm your mother."  
You stayed silent for a solid minute after that, just blinking at your reflection.

"I wished I knew what you look like" you began without thinking. "I bet you have Gabe's warm eyes." Shaking your head you put your face into your hands. "What am I doing?" you whispered.  
Looking up again you forced a smile on your lips even though you felt your eyes water.  
"I love you, baby." You stopped the recording after that and closed your laptop. Hugging your knees against your chest you stared at the desk in front of you.

You heard his steps approach you before you heard his voice.  
"(Y/N)?"  
Slowly turning around you spotted Sam in the doorway. "Are you alright?"  
You considered to lie, to tell him that you were fine and just couldn't sleep anymore. But instead you shook your head. "No-o" you croaked out and stretched out your arms towards him. Sam scooped you up into his arms, hugging you tightly. You couldn't pretend any longer.

____________________

 _ **Pregnancy Week 6:**_  
Your mood was slowly improving ever since you had decided to stop lying about your feelings. Sometimes you still felt overwhelmed and down however you tried to change that. You didn't have much time and that was a fact so you should enjoy your last months as far as possible. However, this didn't mean you would magically forget every dark and worrying thought.  
Your mood swings were slowly decreasing but you still felt nauseous or dizzy from time to time and by now your stomach also felt a little hard and if you squinted you imagined you had already gained a little volume. That didn't really bother you though since it was to be expected. But what annoyed you was that your breasts had begun to hurtfully span. It was an unpleasant continuous ache that drove you nuts. Why did nobody warn you about this? You groaned as you lied in bed and pressed them down a little, trying to release some of the pain.

"If you want to be touched you just have to say so."  
Startled you jumped a little as you looked at Gabriel entering your room, a sly grin on his lips as he slowly approached you. You snorted and slapped his hands away when he sat down beside you.  
"That's not it, you featherbrain. They just hurt like hell" you explained and crossed your arms before your chest. The archangel huffed with a sulky expression before his grin returned. Before you could react he was already leaning over you, pinning you to the bed.  
"I can help you with pain relief, too."  
Snorting you decided to play along.  
"Oh and how would you do that, Doctor Gabe?" His grin only grew at your response.  
"At first I would ask you were exactly you are hurting" he said while snuggling his face into your neck, leaving behind feather-light kisses. You giggled and pressed your hands against his chest, lifting him from you.  
"I can tell you: It's definitely not there."  
The archangel hummed and nodded. "Maybe there then?" He began to kiss up your neck to your ear, making you giggle even more. "Sto-op, that tickles. An-and you have to go lower anyway."  
"Lower, you say?" he asked and looked down at you with a mischievous glint in his eyes. You nodded with your face growing hot.  
"For now, I need you right there." You wrapped your arms around his neck and brought him down to meet your lips. It neither was a demanding kiss nor really a kiss that had to lead to more but it still was a heated one, a passionate one. You realized that since you had got the news about your pregnancy you hadn't kissed him. You subconscious had begun to avoid physical affection apart from the occasional hug. Immediately you felt tears spring into your eyes and a soft sob left your lips which led Gabriel to interrupt the kiss. Worried he glanced down at you and cupped your cheeks.  
"What's wrong? Did I overdo it? Do you need something?" he sounded paranoid. With tears still streaming down your face you shook your head while laughing.  
"No, it's just those stupid pregnancy hormones" you said between sobs and giggles. A relieved sigh left Gabriel's lips as he wiped away your tears.  
"Don't scare me like that!"  
"Sorry" you laughed, covering your mouth with your hands. "But I can't control it."  
The archangel shook his head before lying down beside you. With a small smile he heaved you onto his chest, drawing small circles on your back while you tried to calm down again.

"Sorry for destroying the mood" you whispered after a while.  
"We can always pick back up where we left off" Gabriel suggested and wiggled his eyebrows. You let out a small laugh again and slapped his shoulder playfully.  
"Maybe later."  
Gabriel shrugged as far as possible while lying on the bed. After that no one spoke up again and as you slowly drifted off you realized that you hadn't felt so relaxed in weeks.

____________________

 _ **Pregnancy week 7:**_  
"What?!"  
Your angry voice echoed through the bunker as you slammed your hands down on the table in front of you. With twitchy eyes you stared at the four men who were set to go on another hunt. Nothing unusual, nothing to be angry about however the news they just gave you were a completely different story.  
"I'm not staying in the bunker while you go out hunting!" you declared and crossed your arms before your chest, furiously glaring at them.  
"It's too risky" Sam began.  
"We won't have a discussion about this" Dean continued while Castiel only nodded, not daring to also speak up with your heated temper. Your eyes narrowed as they wandered towards Gabriel. Raising one eyebrow you waited for his response.  
"(Y/N), they're right."  
Your mouth fell open. You at least had expected for him to have your back.  
"I'm pregnant, not useless!" you finally spat back.  
"It's not about being useless!" the archangel raged back, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "It's about keeping you and the baby safe. Can't you see that?"

The sudden energy you had felt because of the anger suddenly vanished and you slumped back onto the chair. You looked away to the side with your arms still crossed before you, searching for the right words.  
"I understand that" you began with your voice flat, still not looking at anyone. The bunker was the safest place on earth and since every other angel wanted you dead you knew you shouldn't leave. "But I can't stay here for the rest of my life."  
You only had about eight months left and you wouldn't spend them locked away where it was 'safer' for you. You wanted to live as long as you were still able to.  
"For the rest of your life?" Dean asked baffled and when you turned around to look at them you also saw Sam's confused look. You only had to share one glance with Gabriel and Castiel to understand that the Winchesters didn't know it yet. You gulped and directed your gaze back at the two brothers.  
"I'm dying."  
Maybe you should have found better words for it but there was no use in sugarcoating it anyway. Immediately after those words had left your mouth you saw utter horror fill the eyes of Sam and Dean.  
"You what?!" the older brother yelped while Sam stayed quiet. You could see the battle in his mind though. Nodding you sighed and let your arms dangle down. Out of instinct they found their place on your stomach which had grown a little over the week.  
"If a human gets pregnant with an angel's child... they die while giving birth to the Nephilim" you explained with your gaze stubbornly directed to the ground. Biting your lip you clenched your eyes shut. 'Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry!' you silently begged.

"Since when did you know?" You looked up again to meet Sam's sad and terrified eyes. You slumped back down and shrugged.  
"Pretty much since... ever? Castiel told me a lot about heaven and angels early on" you explained. Dean glanced at Castiel for clarification.  
"It's true, Dean" the angel sadly confirmed. The older brother's eyes wandered back to you and then to Gabriel. Even from your seat you could almost feel the furious heat in Dean's eyes.  
"You knew it too, didn't you?" he asked the archangel who opened his mouth to answer but Dean wasn't finished yet. "You knew she would die if she ever got pregnant and you still decided to have sex with her?!"  
You flinched by Dean's sharp tone and then immediately jumped up from your seat to run around the table and stand between the archangel and the angry Winchester with your arms stretched out to uphold some distance.  
"Stop" you ordered with your gaze fixed on Dean. Taken a back he took one step back. "I knew about it too, Dean and I made the conscious decision to have sex anyway. If you want to blame him” you turned around to face him fully and put your hands over each other on your chest, pointing at yourself. “Then you have to blame me, too."  
Sam put one hand on Dean's shoulder who shook his head in disappointment. "You're both fucking stupid." He freed himself from Sam and walked out of the library without another word. Defeated you let your arms fall down to your sides.

Sam, Dean and Cas left the bunker the next day, leaving you and Gabriel behind even though they would have been grateful for the archangels help but Dean couldn't look either of you in the eyes. Sam and Cas at least had said good bye even though you knew that Sam felt betrayed, too.  
You sat on the sofa in the library, again with your blanket wrapped around you and a bucket on your lap. You had woken up with severe morning sickness and even though you doubted you could really throw up -only dry heaves tore through your throat from time to time- you didn't dare to go anywhere without the bucket today. You were just too exhausted to clean it up later if something should happen.  
"Are you feeling alright?"  
You turned your head around to look at Gabriel leaning against the back of the coach. You shook your head and let yourself fall back against the cushions. "No, I hate this. I need hugs."  
Demandingly you stretched out your arms without another word. Gabriel chuckled and walked around the couch. He put the bucket on the floor beside the sofa and lied down. You flopped down onto him and wrapped your arms around him.  
"You got pretty clingy since you're pregnant" the archangel stated.  
"Shut up, it's the hormones."  
You felt his laughter vibrate against your chest as he began to play with your hair. You didn't tell him that you feared your end and the future of your child. A future you wouldn't be a part of. This was never how you imagined it to go when you were little. You had dreamed of the perfect little family like everyone else. You had never imagined to end up with an archangel either so ... maybe you were doomed from the very beginning. You knew you would die so you wanted to spend as much time as you could with Gabe, Cas, Sam and Dean when you couldn’t spend time with your child. Sighing you closed your eyes. You hoped Dean wouldn't stay mad at you for long.

You slightly sat up, holding your upper body upright with your arms which were placed to either side of Gabriel so you could look him in the eyes. He raised one eyebrow at you in question and for a few moments you just stared right back at him until you felt your cheeks growing hot under his gaze.  
"I love you" you mumbled with a faint smile on your lips which he immediately returned.  
"I love you too, sweetcheeks."

____________________

 _ **Pregnancy week 8:**_  
You sat before your laptop again, staring at you through the screen. With a huff you pressed record before you could retreat again.  
"Hello, baby" you started with a tired smile. The night before you hadn't slept well and in the morning you always felt rather sick nowadays. Nevertheless you didn't want to delay it again.  
"I would love to know what you did today. Tell me if Dean didn't want to teach you how to fight and I will haunt him." You chuckled. Even though you wouldn't be there for your child you kind of guessed they would want to be a hunter. How could you not want to if you knew about everything that was lurking outside? Especially when you were living with the Winchesters on top of that. And you also knew that Dean probably would strive against teaching them at first. You shook your head and continued to talk to the screen for a few minutes more. You didn't even really know about what. What were you supposed to tell them? You would never get to know them. You would never know what they liked.  
"Mom loves you, baby" you finished before your eyes could get teary again, waved into the camera before stopping the recording.

With a sigh you stood up and left your room. You had to find Dean and at best with Sam. They had returned from the hunt a few days ago in which Dean hadn't talked to you at all. Sam did talk to you after your reveal however you noticed that he too grew a little distant. You walked through the many corridors of the bunker and finally found the two brothers in the kitchen, sitting on the table. You froze in the doorway when Dean's eyes met yours before he quickly looked away again. He was still angry. Sam kept looking at you and even threw you a little smile though you could tell it was rather forced.  
"Hey, Sam" you said quietly, sat down beside him and directed your gaze to the older brother. "Hey, Dean."  
He didn't respond and kept staring at something over your shoulder.  
"Dean, please" you began. "Please stop ignoring me." You felt tears swelling in your eyes and a sob tearing through your throat. "I don't want to die knowing you hate me."  
Dean stood up so sudden that you flinched. Looking up you met his furious stare. "I don't hate you" he said. "But I can't believe you were so stupid. Are so stupid!"  
"Dean" Sam warned with a serious glare.  
"You knew you could get pregnant and die. And still!" he didn't finish his thoughts but he didn't have to.  
"I knew the risks" you defended yourself and wrapped your arms around you in a protective manner.  
"But we didn't! Maybe you had prepared yourself for this case but Sam and I..." Dean faltered. "We just now have to come to terms with the fact that we will lose you soon."  
You bit your lip and turned away. Squeezing your eyes shut you tried to force back the tears but you were unsuccessful. Sobbing violently you buried your face in your hands.  
"I'm afraid, Dean. I don't want to die" you confessed.  
"But I especially don't want to leave this world when you two are still mad at me. This child" you put one hand on your stomach. "My child will need you two when I can't be there."  
Suddenly you felt two arms wrapped around you and at first you thought they were Sam's but when you looked up slightly you saw that it was Dean hugging you. He mumbled something you weren't able to hear properly, so you just returned the hug, clinging onto him.  
"You're so stupid" Dean now properly said but not in an accusing manner. You laughed shallow, whipping away your tears.  
"Thanks."

____________________

 _ **Pregnancy week 12:**_  
You looked at yourself in the mirror with your hands placed on your stomach which already had a small but still quite obvious bump. The baby should have the size of a plum now however you already gained about two pounds of weight. Slowly you stroke over your bump. You weren't able to feel any movement yet but somehow you couldn't stop hugging your unborn child. Maybe because this was the closest you would ever be with them.

You looked up from your reflection to see Gabriel leaning against the doorframe with his arms crossed before his chest. You turned your head to meet his gaze and raised one eyebrow in question. "What's up?"  
He only shook his head with a smile and walked towards you, wrapping his arms around your middle to rest his hands on the small bump. With a smile you leaned against him and placed your hands on top of yours.  
"Nothing, sugar" the archangel whispered in your ear before leaving a feather-light kiss on your neck. You giggled and placed you head on his shoulder so you were able to glance at him from the corner of your eye. He continued to caress the soft, sensible skin while slowly stroking over your belly. You closed your eyes and just enjoy the contact, making quiet humming noises until his hands slowly wandered lower with yours still on top of his hands. Your eyes shot open to meet Gabriel's mischievous ones. He had put his head right beside yours.  
"What are you doing?" you asked and wrapped your arms around his neck.  
"Enjoying some alone time with my beautiful girl" he answered with a smirk. His hands had found their place on the inner side of your thighs. You couldn't hold back the snort.  
"I'm pregnant" you stated. "I have pregnancy acne, raging hormones, morning sickness and I constantly have to urinate!"  
"Still beautiful."  
You turned around in his arms with one raised eyebrow. "Are you serious?"  
The archangel straightened up, looking down at you with warm, sparkling eyes.  
"I'm always serious, (Y/N)."  
"Biggest lie of the century" you stated bluntly. With your hands against his chest you pressed him a few inches away from you so you could look properly at his face. His eyes never seemed warmer when they traveled over the features of your face. Slowly he wrapped his arms around your middle, sneaking around to the small of your back, tipping you off balance. With little choice given you clung to his chest to safe yourself from falling. You blinked at him expectantly with your fingers curled into his shirt. His mouth hovered only a few inches over yours as the corners of his eyes crinkled up in a smile. He let his eyes wander for a little more until they stopped at your lips. You felt his breath hot on them. Everything you had been worrying about was long forgotten. In this exact moment there were only you and Gabriel, no greater threat, no angels who wanted to kill you, no set date for your untimely end, nothing to worry about. Just you and the archangel you loved. You felt Gabe's arms tightening around you, pressing you even further into him so your feet were uselessly dangling over the floor, only the tips of your toes touching the ground without giving any real support at all. You had never yearned for him, for his touch so strongly before.

His lips brushed over yours in a teasing manner before he quickly pulled away, out of reach even as you moved your head towards him. Groaning quietly to vent out your frustration and annoyance you also furrowed your brows at him.  
"Patience, sugar" he breathed with half-lidded eyes. You growled annoyed and shot him a furious glare which only earned you a chuckle from the archangel. One of his hands slowly wandered from your back to one of your legs, slightly lifting it and pushing it against his side. Another groan left your lips as you tried to pull him down to you.  
"Hmm, someone's eager" he smirked.  
"Oh, shut up already and kiss me!" you demanded while unsuccessfully pressing yourself further into him. It only took him a fraction of a second to close the almost not existing gap between you two. Sighing you let your body relax, you melted into his touch as his lips moved over yours. The kiss didn't start slow, oh no. A kiss with Gabriel always felt hot and needy and this time it also demanded more. You tasted the faintest hint of chocolate still lingering on his lips, sending your senses spiraling out of control. Opening your mouth with a low moan you felt your one leg giving away under you. Not that it was very helpful in keeping you upright anyway. Still rather startled you tightened your grip on Gabriel's shirt, deepening the kiss in the process. Your body felt like it was on fire.

And then the next thing you knew was that you were lying on your bed with Gabriel's body pinning you down into the cushions, his lips never leaving yours. He directed your leg that he still held against him to his waist. Immediately you wrapped it around him, pressing him down to you with another moan.  
Your lips parted, allowing you to finally take in some air again. Gabriel pulled back a bit to look down at you with lustful eyes so full of love as his other hand slowly moved over your stomach, caressing the small bump. Then his lips met your neck, gliding over the skin until he had found your weak spot. You closed your eyes and bit your bottom lip but the mix of a moan and a sigh still escaped your mouth as you curled your fingers at his nape. Squirming under him you tried to suppress all the sounds spilling over your lips. Emphasis on tried because you failed miserably.  
"Gabe" you panted, clinging onto him as if he was the last piece of wood to save you from drowning. You were in a complete daze, not witnessing anything that could have happened around you, the only thing you noticed was Gabriel and his touches. He let go of your neck, definitely leaving a hickey behind but you didn't care. You would just have to remember to leave one on his neck too. Opening your eyes again you stared at him, your chest raising and falling as you gasped for air. You still felt his hand softly moving over your stomach while your grip around his nape slowly loosened. Gabriel smirked, definitely pleased with his result. Suddenly very self-conscious, you already felt your cheeks getting hot, you looked away. But Gabriel wouldn't let that happen, not on his watch. Cupping your cheek with one hand -the other one had settle on your waist- he directed your gaze back to him as he leaned in closer.

"I love you, (Y/N)" he whispered before capturing your lips in another kiss.  
You could only moan into the kiss in response as you continued to enjoy his touches which grew more heated and daring. Not that they had ever been modest to begin with.

Gabriel definitely showed you how beautiful you were to him.

____________________

 _ **Pregnancy week 16:**_  
You had gained four more pounds, six in total now. The bump was even more noticeable. In fact it grew so much, that you found anything other than leggings unbearable to wear. So that is what you did: Wearing comfortable leggings while wrapped in a blanket on the sofa in the library with a cup of tea in your hands. Since you weren't able to drink much coffee nowadays but still wanted something warm to drink you switched to tea.  
You directed the cup to your face when you felt the sofa dip and two arms wrapped themselves around you. With a squeak you tried not to spill anything on yourself and then turned towards the person next to you with sullen looks.  
"Gabriel" you warned but he didn't react. Instead he grabbed the cup out of your hands to put it down on the table in front of him.  
"What are we both doing today, sugar?" he asked with a wide grin.  
"I was just enjoying my tea befo- huh!" you began before you were suddenly pinned underneath the archangel, his face dangerously close to yours. But from so near you saw the worry and sadness in his eyes. Perplexed you blinked at him. "Gabe? Are you alright?"  
He shook his head before burying his face in your neck. "Everything is well, (Y/N). You don't have to worry about me."  
In that moment it hit you. He is still...  
"But you're still worrying about me, aren't you?"

At first the archangel on top of you didn't move. But then you heard him sigh before he finally sat up.  
"(Y/N) ... How can I not?"  
You huffed and tried to sit up to but since Gabriel had his legs still to either side of you, you weren't really able to straighten up properly.  
"Gabriel ... Gabe, listen. I know all this isn't" you paused and shoved him of you so you could sit in front of him and face him properly. "ideal. But I stopped worrying so you should, too."  
You hoped he would buy your lie so you immediately continued. You didn't want to think about all this now. You had enough weeks to come to worry about it.  
"There are far more fun things to do today anyway."  
Gabriel's eyebrows rose as he eyed you expectantly with a wide grin. He leaned forward but was stopped by your hands pressed against his chest.  
"Not that kind of fun, Gabe!" you laughed but got pressed into the cushions anyway. Your face got peppered with kisses while you giggled profusely. "Gabriel, sto-" you started but got silenced by his lips on top of yours. You hummed into the kiss, any resistance was immediately forgotten as you melted in his arms. Your arms wrapped themselves around Gabe's neck almost automatically while he held himself upright with one arm and caressed your side with the other.

"Guys, really? Don't you have a room?"

You flinched, knocking heads with Gabriel when you tried to sit up. Groaning you let yourself fall back down. However, the archangel straightened up to face the older Winchester who had just entered the room.  
"Come on, I know you enjoy a good show, Dean."  
You gasped in shock and pushed Gabriel off of you with your foot. "Gabe!" you yelped and threw a pillow in his face when you saw the pleased grin on his face. Sitting up you looked apologetically at Dean who had one eyebrow raised.  
"Sorry, Dean. I was actually waiting for someone to arrive at the bunker before featherbrains distracted me" you explained. "Do you know if they arrived yet?"  
"Who?" Gabriel asked, looking up at you since he was still lying on the sofa. You pushed another pillow in his face to silence him and turned around to look at your phone that was lying on the table next to your half empty cup of tea.  
"I think a car parked in front of the bunker... I actually wanted to ask you if one of you knew who it was" Dean said.

You jumped up, ran your fingers through your hair to clean it up a little and jogged up the staircase to the entrance door without answering Dean. When you opened the door you saw them in front of you, one hand raised and about to knock at the door.  
"(F/N)!" you said excited and hugged them immediately.  
"Hey, (Y/N)" they responded with an equally tight hug.  
"Thanks, for coming by. I'm unable to leave this place because of safety reasons" you explained after letting go of them and leading them inside.  
"No problem, I have everything we need" they said and pointed to the suitcase in their hand. Nodding you walked back down to meet the very confused faces of Dean and Gabe.

"Hey, I'm (F/N)" your friend introduced themselves. "I was (Y/N)'s former partner for hunts.”  
“Before she decided to pursue her dreams of being active in the medical field” you added and bumped playfully into her side.  
The two men nodded.  
"So, what are you doing here?" Dean asked.  
You placed your hands on the noticeable bump: "For check-ups. Also, if the baby is lying right we can detect which gender they have."  
Gabriel immediately beamed with excitement as he jumped up from the sofa, following you and your friend to your room.

After about twenty minutes your friend had set everything up and you were lying expectantly in your bed with Gabe sitting beside you.  
"What do you think it will be?" he asked. You grinned at him.  
"I don't know, but they will challenge you nevertheless." He huffed.  
"I'm great with children."  
"Since when? Have you even seen one?" you laughed which only earned you a slight nudge against your shoulder.

"Are you two ready?" (F/N) asked with a smile. You nodded but flinched as they covered your bare stomach with the cold substance. Looking at the monitor you tried to make out any shapes.  
"Look, there is the head" your friend said and traced it with their finger. That was the moment you saw your baby for the first time. Blindly you searched for Gabriel's hand as tears sprang into your eyes. The archangel squeezed your hand reassuringly.  
"Can you see what it is?" he asked.  
Your friend hummed and moved the scanner around a bit.  
"Yup!"  
You squeezed Gabriel's hand even more. Your heart beat frantically.

"It's a girl."

You couldn't hold back the sob and immediately turned to Gabriel for a hug.  
"We have to come up with a name soon, sugar" he whispered in your ear while drawing circles on your back until you had calmed down again. Damn, you were a wreck today ... any day.

Let's just say: agreeing to one name was a hassle.  
Whenever you found a name you liked Gabriel would have some kind of personal conflict with the name.  
"What about ... Nidia? This one sounds cute" you said and looked up from your phone to meet Gabriel's eyes. He sat on the other side of the sofa also looking onto his phone.  
"I once knew a Nidia. She was very flex-hey!" Gabriel blinked perplexed at you and then at the pillow that you had thrown at him and was now lying in his lap.  
"I once told you that I don't care about all your past affairs" you began with a huff. "But are you kidding me? Every name I suggest? Really?!"  
Gabriel shrugged his shoulders and grinned. "No one can resist my charm, sug-" he got cut off again by another pillow to his face. He threw you a sulky look.  
"Is there one name you haven't moaned?" you asked bluntly and crossed your arms before your chest. He shrugged his shoulders again with a grin which earned him his third pillow.

____________________

 ** _Pregnancy week 17:_**  
Everything seemed to slowly settle itself in. Your pregnancy acne was gone, your belly was growing profusely and you were motivated to continue the recordings for your baby girl. You had made one every single day for the past week, talking about your life, the pregnancy, your wishes for your baby.  
You were also motivated to find a name that had no previous history for Gabriel. Let's just say ... you would have more options if the baby was a boy.  
The only thing that calmed your nerves when you had to cross out another name was food. Something you craved right now was hot Cheetos dipped into yogurt. Normally disgusting but at the moment the best thing you could eat. These pregnancy cravings were weird.

However, currently you were lying in bed scrolling through your phone for names again. The archangel was next to you, pressing you against his chest as he looked over your shoulder. You opened your moth to speak but before you could you were interrupted.  
"Before you say anything: I knew a Rayna, too."  
You turned towards him with a scowl. Pushing him off of you, you rolled over so he could no longer look at the screen. "You are getting on my nerves, Gabriel."  
"Sorry, sugar. But-" he started but you snapped.  
"When you say something about your charm again I will beat you up with a pillow."

It stayed silent after that for a while but not distant. Gabriel's hand found your stomach almost immediately. You sighed and nuzzled into him.  
"Is there no name that comes to your mind?" you asked defeated, looking up from your phone. Gabriel's warm eyes looked apologetically at you as he shrugged his shoulders.  
"Sorry, sweetcheeks. The only name on my mind right now is yours" he said and winked at you.  
You snorted and slid over to let yourself be wrapped in Gabe's arms. Inhaling his scent you let yourself be lulled into his warmth.  
"You are such a smooth talker" you huffed.  
"But it works every time" he smirked. You shook your head and punched him lightly in the chest.  
"You never shut your mouth, too."  
"You know" the archangel began. "I could say the same thing about you."  
Perplexed you pressed yourself away from him to look at his face again.  
"What?" Gabriel chuckled.  
"You recently began to snore while sleeping." Your eyes widen and your cheeks grew hot as you stared at him. Stammering something uncoherent before you shook your head to clear your thoughts.  
"I do not!"  
Gabriel laughed and hugged you tightly against him again. "Yes, you do."  
"I refuse to believe that” you mumbled into his chest before freeing yourself from his hug, still very embarrassed. The archangel shrugged and lied back onto his back. With a sigh you grabbed your phone again and mindlessly scrolled down for a while before randomly stopping. You read all the names listed on that part until you found yourself stuck on one. You sat up, pushing your hair behind your ear.

"What do you think about Liora? I really like its meaning: 'My Light'."

Gabriel thought about it for a moment but you didn't see recognition on his face. Did you do it? Did you find a name he didn't have a connection to? Then he shook his head. "I don't recall knowing anyone with that name. Liora ... yes, that sounds beautiful." You were more than relieved as you slumped back into the pillows.

____________________

 _ **Pregnancy week 18:**_  
It was all a hoax. Nothing was better. You felt miserable. You were unable to sleep properly again like before you knew about the pregnancy. Your mind just couldn't find rest. Your thoughts were racing every time at night when everything got quiet.  
On top of that did the sides of your belly hurt like hell. You had asked your friend about it and they said that it was probably because of your womb expanding. So now you were unable to sleep because of mental and physical stuff. And being pregnant with no sleep meant you were cranky all the time. And when you were cranky you got headaches. And when you had headaches you couldn't fall asleep. It was a vicious cycle.

What you needed right now was your archangel boyfriend. However, that wasn't possible since he was on a hunt with Sam and Dean. Castiel was still in the bunker with you but he would be joining them shortly. He stayed behind to help you with the last parts of research before he would teleport to the location. He was browsing through several books he had displayed on the table while you were leaning over one single book. You were sitting on the opposite side of the table, rereading the last paragraph for the fifth time now and slowly you lost your patience with yourself. Growling you pressed the palms of your hands against your eyes, trying to sooth the throbbing headache that was pounding against your skull.  
"Is everything alright?" asked a voice and suddenly you felt a hand on your shoulder. Flinching you turned around to look at Castiel. With a sigh you waved him off and looked back down at the book.  
"Yes, everything is just peachy."  
"I can heal you symptoms if you want?" Castiel continued. You glanced back at him from over your shoulder.  
"You can do that?"  
The angel nodded. "But it won't last forever since I can't remove the source of your pain."  
"Doesn't matter, I just want to have a few minutes without any pain" you explained, turning around in the chair eagerly to fully look at him.  
"Can I?" he asked, his hand hovering over your stomach. You looked down at the ever growing bump and nodded. "Of course."  
The moment Castiel had placed his hand over it you felt a warmth run through your entire body. A sigh left your lips. And when Cas withdrew his hand you couldn’t believe that you felt nothing other than good. "Thank you, Cas" you said with a smile, stood up and hugged the angel. Rather stiffly he returned it. "Your welcome, (Y/N)."

Cas called Dean after the two of you finished the research and teleported away which meant that you were completely alone right now and had enough time to record something for your baby girl again. You hadn't shown or told anything that you did that. When you were finished you wanted to safe it on a USB stick and tell Gabe to give it to her when she needed it. Because this was something personal between you and your baby.  
You sat everything up and pressed the record button.

"Hey sweetie" you waved with a wide smile. Now that Cas had healed your symptoms for a while you felt really good and energetic. You felt motivated.  
"You know, I really wished I could spoil you rotten" you confessed and pushed some strains of your hair back with a chuckle.  
"But knowing Gabe I guess he is probably spoiling you enough for the both of us."  
You fell silent for a few moments as seriousness washed over you. You had no idea how the life of your girl would be but if wouldn't be easy. You were sure that Gabriel and Cas would help her with her angel side and Dean and Sam with her human one. But there were still many dangers out there. She would still be a target for other angels. You shook your head and continued to speak about more cheerful things.  
"I wonder what your favorite color is... I guess nothing to girly since you will be surrounded by a lot of guys in your life. However, that could also mean you could lean towards more feminine colors to define yourself and distance yourself from the boys." You huffed, placed your chin on your palm and thought for a moment.  
"I'm just gonna follow my intuition and say it's purple. Let me know if I'm right" you winked.  
"I should stop. Oh, but before I go: Your Dad and I finally decided on a name for you!" you grinned and took a deep breath.  
"Mom loves you, Liora."  
And with that you stopped the recording.

____________________

 _ **Pregnancy week 19:**_  
You were in need of new clothes. Not like wanting to buy new stuff but really, really needing something to wear because of your growing belly and no matter how embarrassing it was... because of your enlarged breasts, too. You needed new bras, okay! Nothing to be distressed about. But damn was it unusual. And okay, you felt really embarrassed by it. It didn't help that Gabriel was obviously staring at them, too. Not that you could blame him…

"Stop it, Gabe!" you yelped and crossed your arms before your chest, pinning the blanket against you to cover your breasts. "That's inappropriate."  
The archangel snorted and walked towards your sitting form on the bed.  
"I saw you in far more revealing clothes" he explained, now standing directly in front of you. You eyed his hand that slowly creeped closer to your arms. He slowly pushed them down which lead to the blanket falling to your lap, revealing your -by a normal shirt covered- breasts.  
"I also saw you naked more than once, sweetchecks."  
Looking away you already felt your face heat up.  
"It makes me self-conscious" you mumbled.  
"Oh, sugar" Gabriel said and hoisted you up on your feet. He intertwined both of your hands and pulled you against him. "There is no need to feel embarrassed. You're always beautiful."  
You chuckled and wrapped your arms around his torso, pressing your face against his chest.  
"It's still embarrassing. Or at least, I mean ... I don't know! It's just different" you tried to explain. "Everything's so different."  
Gabriel hummed, stroking your hair while wrapping his other arm also around you.  
"I try to be positive, Gabe" you take a deep breath and buried your nails into his shirt. "But it's hard when you know you will die."

"You know that they are searching for a solution, right?"

You pushed yourself slightly away so you could see his face. "Solution?"  
He nodded: "Sam and Dean are looking for something that can safe you. Something maybe not even we angels know about."  
"What? They can't!" you yelled shocked which earned you a confused face from the archangel. You shook your head.  
"Stuff like that, plans like that never end well" you stopped and took a deep breath. "It always ends with someone else sacrificing themselves and I won't let them do that for me."  
Gabriel tightened the hug again, pressing you against him again.  
"I'm sure they won't do anything stupid" he tried to reassure you.  
"Okay, now that is the biggest lie of the century" you said with a snort.

"Oh, can you help me with something, Gabe?" you asked, pushing away again to look at his warm eyes.  
"Anything you want, sugar" he said and wiggled his eyebrows. Rolling your eyes you freed yourself from his arms. "Not that kind of problem, Gabriel. I need new clothes" you pointed down at you. "And since I can't leave I need you to work your magic and produce me a new wardrobe that will fit." The archangel snapped his fingers immediately and then gestured to your closet.  
"Done."  
You opened the closet door and nodded before turning around to face him again with a smile.  
"That reminds me: We need to get a few more things."

It was now a few hours later and you were currently looking for Sam and Dean. You desperately needed to talk to them about their probably very stupid plan. And low and behold where did you find them? The library, researching some way to safe you.  
"There is no way" you said, leaning against the door frame. Immediately the heads of the two men turned to you. "What do you mean?" Sam asked and desperately tried to cover up the book he was reading. Dean instantly stood up, walking towards you.  
"Are you alright?" he asked which made you sigh and roll your eyes.  
"Yes, Dean. Don't try to distract me, though" you warned and sat down in front of Sam. "I know what you two are doing and I won't allow it."  
Sam rose an eyebrow in question while Dean sat back down.  
"You two are trying to find a way to safe me."  
"And?" Dean huffed. "We just ... Don't want you to die."  
"Dean, you-" you stopped and took a deep breath. "Do you realize to what this always leads? How it always ends?" The two Winchesters watched you silently.  
"It always leads to someone else sacrificing themselves and I won't let you do that for me. I forbid it!" you slammed your hands on the table and stood up, trying to fight back the tears.  
"Why (Y/N)? We can decide that for ourselves" Dean challenged you, also standing up.  
"No, you can't because I am the one who would have to live with the sacrifice!" you screamed. After that everything seemed to stand still. You blinked unmoving and then slowly straightened up, crossing your arms before your chest. You took a deep breath.  
"I knew what I was getting myself into. I knew about the risks. It's my decision to let this baby live and to bear the consequences" you clarified. Shaking your head you turned away from the two brothers who hadn't dared to speak up again and walked towards the door. When you were standing in the frame you turned to face them again.  
"Come with me. I want to show you two something."

You led them in front of your room. With your hand on the handle you turned to look at them again. Then you opened the door energetically. Coming to light was your newly decorated room. You entered with the Winchesters in tow and sat down on the bed.  
"Gabriel and I decided to make my room baby proof" you explained and then let them see for themselves. The complete left side of the room was now decorated like a kid’s room. Next to your bed stood a crib with a fitting mobile attached to it. On the wall next to it was a diaper-changing unit and a few shelves with books and toys inside of it. A soft fuzzy carpet was draped on the floor and some star and moon stickers were on the left wall now. You sighed and grabbed the romper which laid next to you on the bed while Sam and Dean's eyes were still fixated on the new furniture.  
"You will have a lot to do in a few weeks" you said with a grin, your eyes glued to the onesie in your hands. Then you turned it around so you could show them the print on it. On the front it read "Princess".  
"Because it will be a little girl." You hadn't told them this before now. Somehow you didn't know how you should do it but you couldn't delay it anymore.  
Sam immediately had a huge smile on his face as he took a step forward, reaching a hand out, asking you to hold the romper. You gave it to him with a small smile. In the mean time you focused on Dean who was still frozen, staring at the wall.  
"Dean?" Your voice seemed to snap him out of it. But when he turned towards you, something you weren't prepared for were tears. "No, don't" you said, already feeling your own tears wetting your eyes. "You will make me cry, too."  
You stood up and wrapped your arms around the older Winchester. "I don't want to cry today."

It stayed quiet for a few moments before you felt Dean's grip tighten. "(Y/N)" he started. "How do you expect of me to not search for another solution?" You didn't answer since he wasn't expecting one anyway. "You're family, (Y/N). I can't just let you die."  
You sobbed, pressing even further into his chest.  
"You know I don't want to die, Dean" you said. "But what I want even less is one of you dying because of me." It got silent after that again, neither spoke up.

"My baby girl will need you, Dean. Please stop searching for a solution that will cost more than I'm willing to give. For me, as my last wish."  
"… okay, (Y/N)."

**To be continued.**

____________________

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I would love any kind of feedback! <3
> 
> Also: I have a tumblr! (magicrowiswritingstuff)  
> I'm more active and easier to reach there.


	3. "Not so good News" (3/3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: After you had received the news of your pregnancy you feel rather conflicted. On one hand you want this child to live but on the other hand this also means you will die giving birth. Your only option is to enjoy the time you have left with the people you love, forcing your dark thoughts to the back of your head.  
> (F/N) means friend’s name.
> 
> Warning: dark thoughts/themes, suggestive themes, heavy angst, swear words, death, child birth (not a warning but maybe someone is squeamish)
> 
> Category: angst and fluff, even more angst

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Note 1: So, the mini-series is finished. I hope you will enjoy/enjoyed the last part. This series was a pain in the ass to write… so much research and asking relatives if it’s accurate. Though, it probably isn’t because it is fanfiction after all.  
> Note 2: I have another Gabriel story that one is more fluffy (And another short series in the works but pst). And I will definitely write more about/with him because I love him, all right?! I love hand hate him at the same time.

**_Pregnancy week 20:_**  
The pregnancy was now at its halfway point which also meant that you probably had only twenty more weeks to live. What it also meant was twenty more weeks of pregnancy symptoms and to be honest you were sick of it. Sometimes even literally. You had been so dizzy lately you even blacked out during research. Sam and Dean weren’t happy, thinking that you had over worked yourself and Gabriel immediately teleported you to your room after you had woken up again. So now you were on bed rest, or rather jail time. You laid on your back with your arms crossed before you and a pouty look on your face.  
“This sucks.”  
You wanted to do more than laying around all day however there wasn’t really much to do in the bunker especially on your own. You stood up from your bed and walked towards a shelve on the right side. Somewhere underneath all the stuff you had there had to be the thing you were looking for. “Aha!” you grabbed it and left the room, searching for the boys.

You found them still sitting in the library, looking for their next hunt but the moment you stepped in all eyes were on you.  
“(Y/N), what are you doing up?” Gabriel asked with one eyebrow raised in question. You let the box you were holding fall onto the table.  
“No longer wasting my time” you declared and sat down, opening the box and arranging its content. “I want to spend time with you all and by that I’m not thinking about researching with you.”  
You looked up at the four guys who slowly turned to you and the game you were setting up.

“So, we are playing monopoly now!”

“Only if I get to be the car” Dean said and immediately snatched it for himself. Sam rolled his eyes at him and took the dog.  
“How do you play?” Castiel asked confused, grabbing the shoe because it was closest to him. You threw him a small smile. “I’ll show you.”  
You then turned to Gabriel, offering him to choose his playing piece but he shook his head.  
“I always play with my own token” he said and snapped his fingers. In front of him appeared a small figurine of himself. You glanced at him with your lips pressed into a thin line to hold back a giggle. “Really?” you questioned as a short breath of laughter escaped your mouth. The archangel shrugged his shoulders.  
“Want one, too?” he asked, his fingers ready. You shook your head.  
“No, it’s alright. I’ll just take the cat.”

After you had set everything up and explained the rules to Castiel the game began. However, unsurprisingly Cas was still the first person to go bankrupt. Sam soon followed, selling his last green street to Dean. He mumbled something under his breath before throwing the dog back into the box. So now it was only you, Dean and Gabe.  
“You owe me 600, Dean” you said, pointing on the last light blue street where Dean had his car parked in front of the hotel you had recently built there.  
“What? How?! You only have shit streets” he complained and gave you the money reluctantly. You chuckled.  
“Yes, but I got a lot of shit streets.” Dean only huffed which made you laugh. You had to throw dice next and landed on the police man. With a theatrical sigh you put your cat in jail, throwing the dice to Gabe. He grinned at you before rolling them. He landed on the middle orange street. Now you were the one grinning at him: “That makes 550.”  
“You have one good street, only one hotel and maybe two to three houses on a street. How are you making so much money?” Gabriel asked after giving you the game money. You shrugged your shoulders.  
“I have three complete streets: brown and light blue at the beginning on which always someone ends up on. And in the beginning it doesn’t feel like much money but it stacks up. And the orange one is often overlooked because the red one has higher prices but people always end up somewhere in that corner, too.  
Dean rolled his eyes, taking the dice.  
"Also, you two only have one complete street which lowers the change of getting much money because I bought one dark blue and one yellow one to stop you” you added and leaned back against your chair.

“How about a little trade then” Gabriel suggested. “I want the dark blue street you stole from me and I can give you 350 and a get out of jail free-card.”  
“Why would I want that?” you questioned with one raised eyebrow. “I still get money in jail but I don’t lose anything for three turns. It’s a win-win for me, I’m staying here.” The archangel huffed. “Alright, 400 bucks and a train station. Last offer.” You shook your head, staying stoic. Turning towards Dean you nodded at him, signaling that you were finished and that he could roll the dice. He got a nine, landing on the same orange street like Gabe did before him. You grinned evilly at him.  
“550, Dean.”  
“I don’t have enough money in cash I need to sell houses first” he explained, giving you six of his green houses from his pink street (you were playing as the bank too). You exchanged them for 300 which you kept and waited for the remaining 250.

“Dean, I noticed you are short with money” you said after you had rolled the dice, still stuck in jail. “How about a little trait?”  
Gabriel shock his head at Dean, whispering “She’s too powerful already, don’t” which only made you grin.  
“I want the yellow street you have” you pointed at the card before offering your hand to Dean. “And in exchange I will give you your 550 bucks back.” Gabriel continued to shake his head but Dean grabbed your hand, agreeing to the deal. You then turned to the archangel.  
“Gabe, you want your blue street, right? And I want the last yellow one you have” you said, your eyes sparkling mischievously. “I will give you the blue one if I get the yellow one and 350 bucks.” He reluctantly agreed.

And so the game went on. Cas and Sam stayed, watching it all go down quietly as Dean lost his last street to you after having to sell his pink one to Gabe completely as well as his train stations. It was a pretty equal distribution of streets, however after about a half hour later you ended up winning. Grinning you put the cards back into their box.  
“Your strategy really just is to buy all the shit streets at the very beginning and slowly watching as we lose all our money to them?” Dean questioned. You nodded. “Yep, and a few other moves helped me win, too but I won’t tell you more than that.”  
All things considered you had a lot of fun and the others did too.

“Now you will finally get rid of me again” you said while standing up, smiling at them playfully. “I’ll go back to bed. I’m exhausted and my legs are killing me.” With that you turned around and walked back to your room in silence. Or at least you had planned to do that, however you heard footsteps following you. Looking over your shoulder you saw Gabriel running after you. You stopped with a grin, waiting for him. When he caught up he didn’t say anything so you continued your way back with him by your side.  
“Thanks for letting me win” you said and shoved his side.  
“I did not do such a thing” he declared swollen, grinning down at you which made you laugh.  
“I know but you could have tricked us all anyway for you to win but you didn’t do it.”  
“I retired from my trickster days, sugar” the archangel reminded you.  
“Yes, but we both know that you would never stop messing with us” you said. Throwing him a side glance you smiled at him. “I’m amazed that you didn’t play a prank at Dean for a while now.”  
Gabriel chuckled and wrapped one arm around you. “Don’t let yourself be fooled, (Y/N).”  
You grinned and then wrapped your arm around him too, pressing your head against his shoulder.  
“Thank you” you whispered so faintly you worried he wouldn’t catch it.  
“For what?” he asked with a chuckle. You only shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess for everything.”

____________________

_**Pregnancy week 22:**_  
In the last two weeks nothing much changed or happened. Your belly continued to grow and pregnancy symptoms were still haunting you. Your legs cramped so much now you didn’t really want to move out of bed. So, you didn’t. You stayed in bed all day.  
“At first you desperately wanted to do something you even overworked yourself into blacking out and now you are lying in bed all day” Gabriel chuckled beside you, nuzzling his nose against your neck. You huffed and turned your head so you could look at him.  
“Firstly, you’re not pregnant so shut up” you sassed back at him but stayed silent after that, turning on your side again so your back faced the archangel. You felt Gabriel squirm behind you.  
“Secondly?”  
“Nothing, that is all there was” you said which earned you a hearty laugh from him.  
“You’re adorable” he said and wrapped his arms around you. Now you were the one to squirm, trying to get out of his grip.  
“Am not!” you proclaimed. “I’m an angry pregnant lady, fear me.” You succeeded in freeing yourself and were now sitting on your knees before Gabriel.  
“I’m trembling underneath your gaze, spear me” he managed to get out between his laughter. With a pouty look you threw a pillow in his face.  
“You’re making fun of me!” you pointed out accusingly.  
“I would never” he declared with one hand pressed against his chest in shock as he sat up as well.  
“I don’t believe you” you said and crossed your arms before your chest while desperately trying to suppressed your grin.  
“Oh, furious pregnant lady, how can I prove myself?” Gabriel asked and slowly crawled closer to you. You had to let yourself fall back against the cushions with the archangel now leaning over you.  
“Hmm” you hummed and pretended to think about it while Gabriel’s face slowly got closer to your neck. You shuddered, feeling his breath dance over the sensitive skin.  
“Helping me with my crampy legs would be a start” you whispered. Without hesitation the archangel set up and shifted his focus to your cramped legs and feet.

He slowly massaged from your feet upwards. By now your eyes were already closed and soft hums left your lips now and then. You just enjoyed the feeling of the pain slowly washing away. Or at least you did until Gabe’s hands wandered up to the inner side of your thighs. One of your eyes snapped open, glaring at the archangel.  
“What are you doing?” you questioned with a low voice.  
“Shh” he breathed and crawled back over you. Instinctively you wrapped your arms around his neck but continued to eye him suspiciously. “Let me spoil you.”  
“You don’t need to” you said while Gabriel had already started to pepper your face with kisses.  
“Oh, but I want to” he kissed the top of your nose which made you giggle. He continued to place kisses on your face before slowly wandering down towards your neck. Occasionally a hum or sigh left your lips as you let yourself relax under his caresses.

“What do you want to do?” he suddenly asked. You opened your eyes that had been closed until now and saw him hovering over you again. “What?” you questioned.  
“What’s on your bucket list?”  
Now you understood. You let your arms fall from his shoulders as you thought about it, letting your eyes wander around the ceiling.  
“I-” you looked at the archangel. “I don’t know.”  
“Really? There is nothing you can think of” Gabriel asked with one raised eyebrow. You shook your head. “I just never thought about it before… And I guess you had finished yours long before you even met me” you said, suddenly feeling very embarrassed. But to your surprise the archangel shook his head. “I achieved my last one only a few years ago.”  
“And what would that have been?” you asked. Gabe’s gaze flickered from your eyes to your lips before moving back up. A small smile adorned his face as he spoke up again: “Falling in love.”  
Immediately you felt your face heat up.  
“You’re just saying that to make me feel better” you said, trying to cover your face with your hands but Gabriel pushed them down and shrugged his shoulders.

“What about when you were a kid?” he continued to ask. “What did you wish for then?”  
“Expect a real pink unicorn and ice-cream for every meal?” you laughed before losing yourself in your thoughts again. “I guess … getting married someday.”

You felt Gabriel stiffen up above you, making you tense up, too. Shaking your hands in front of your chest as far as possible you backtracked immediately.  
“Not that we have to. It’s just a silly kids thing, you know. Back then we had plenty of games about our future or talked about family and marriage. It was just normal, expected. Ahh! Not that I expect it from you. I don’t want you to propose or anything. I-” you noticed that you were rambling so you forced yourself to stop and took a deep breath.“ I shouldn’t have said that.”  
Now you really did cover your face with your hands, wishing to disappear. Though you never talked with Gabe about marriage or anything like that you always knew it would be a tricky subject. With him being practically immortal and marriage always or often associated with religion. You just guessed he didn’t want to since he had always tried to distance himself from God and heaven and all that. And since he was an angel, an archangel … you could promise him to spend your remaining life with him. He couldn’t. And now was definitely not the time to marry since you would die in less than twenty weeks anyway.

“I’m sorry” you said without really knowing why. Maybe you just wanted to break the silence that seemed to lay heavily in the air.  
“Don’t be” the archangel said, caressing your check with one hand.  
“But I knew it would be a tricky subject to you.”  
“How so?”  
“Well” you dragged on and slowly uncovered your face. “I just guessed and by your reaction…”  
You didn’t continue speaking as Gabriel sat up on his knees. Lifting yourself up on your elbows you eyed him confused. Was the subject so repulsing to him?  
“You mean because I stiffened up?” You nodded.  
Gabriel let out one breathy laugh.  
“I was just surprised and shocked because I-” he snapped his fingers and opened his hand revealing a ring. “-actually wanted to give you this.”  
You straightened up completely shocked. Your eyes darting from his face to his outstretched palm. “Wha-”  
“They aren’t wedding rings. More like a promise ring, really” he explained as you slowly reached out to take the ring from him. He was right, it didn’t look like the typical engagement or wedding ring. It was a silver ring, shaped into a feather that would curl around your finger.  
“For what?” you asked and looked up, the ring still uselessly lying in your palm. Gabriel raised his right hand, revealing a silver ring on his finger that hadn’t been there before. This one had the typical form of a ring, however the feather was engraved into it.  
“To promise that I will always love you.”  
You felt tears in your eyes as you jumped forward, tackling the archangel in a hug.  
“You always make me cry” you complained but honestly it probably was because of the hormones. You stifled your sobs in his shirt as you pressed yourself flat against him, so you even felt his laughter vibrate through his chest as he wrapped his arms around you, too.

“Can I?” he asked after a while and pushed you from him. He took the ring back from you and offered his other hand for yours to put inside. You didn’t hesitate to do so but felt your face heat up again as he looked at you with love filled eyes. He slipped the ring onto your finger, gave you one last, long look before letting go of your hand. You looked at the delicate feather wrapped around your ring finger.  
“Thank you” you said with tears still clinging to your face but a big smile on your lips. You wrapped your arms around him again, burying your face into his chest

____________________

_**Pregnancy week 23:**_  
You had thought hard about what to put on your bucket list ever since Gabriel brought it up. However, it was pretty hard to find things you were able to do because of your condition (pregnant) and your situation (kind of trapped in the bunker). One thing you couldn’t get out of your mind though was to see the northern lights far away from any other light source, no cities or other people. You couldn’t shake it off even if it meant leaving the bunker. Your second idea was maybe rather cliché and not so impossible: having a family dinner without anything to worry about and no arguments to destroy the mood.

“Hey, Gabe?” you asked while entering the library. The archangel immediately looked up from whatever he was doing, beaming at you. “What’s the matter?”  
You sat down on the chair opposite to him.  
“I was thinking about what you said” you started.  
“What exactly? I talk a lot” he questioned, resting his head on one palm. You snorted in agreement.  
“About what I wanted to do, about my bucket list” you reminded him. “And I came up with two things.”  
“Only two? If I knew you were so easy to please I-” you cut him off by throwing a crumpled up piece of paper at his face.  
“I wanted to ask if you had any ideas or further inspirations for things to achieve in the bunker” you paused. “Okay, I have only one thing for my list because for the first one I would have to leave.”  
“What would that be?” Gabriel asked, putting his head in his other palm while closing the book he was looking at.  
“I always wanted to see the northern lights far away from civilization” you confessed and looked to the side, pushing one stray strand of hair back. “And my second point was having a family dinner.”  
“With your parents?” Gabriel asked which made you flinch. Maybe you should have expected that since you had never talked with him about your life before becoming a hunter. Still, hearing the word stung a lot.  
“I never told you why I became a hunter, right?” Gabriel nodded confused and you took a deep breath.  
“My parents died when I was maybe 14” you explained, not meeting his eyes. “They were killed by a werewolf and I only survived because a hunter rushed in. He shot the werewolf and took me in. He taught me everything he knew but I was still traumatized, refused to leave the house after sunset. Still … he was like a father to me. And then when I just turned 19 he was possessed by a demon after his tattoo was burned from his skin. The demon inside him stabbed him in the heart before I was able to exorcize him” you finished and wiped away the tears that had found their way over your cheeks. Suddenly you felt a hand on your shoulder, making you flinch again. Looking up you saw Gabriel standing beside you. You hadn’t noticed that he had stood up.  
“I’m fine” you said, not believing even yourself. The archangel didn’t say anything, just let his hand rest on your shoulder, sending you comfort through his touch.

“Anyway, why did I tell you that again?” you shook your head, trying to rid yourself from the sad memories. “Ah, right. So, when I say family who I mean by that are Dean, Sam, Cas and you, Gabe.”  
You looked up at him with the tiniest smiles on your lips as the archangel wiped away the last tear from your check.  
“The only problem with a family dinner is that I think it will escalate like always. Especially since I know that Dean is still looking for another way, a way to safe me in secret. Even though I forbid it” you only mumbled the last part. Gabriel grinned and bopped your nose.  
“Don’t you worry your pretty little head, sugar” Gabriel said. “It’s late, you should go to bed.”  
You stood up, nodding and wrapping your arms around the archangel still craving his touch. He returned the hug. “I will be with you shortly I need to finish this first.” You nodded once more, hugged him for a few moments more before letting go. “Good night” you said and stretched yourself on your tiptoes to give him a quick kiss on the lips before vanishing into your room. You had fallen asleep immediately.

“(Y/N)!” you squirmed under your blanket, not ready to wake up just yet. You felt something, or someone next to you and a hand on your shoulder slowly shaking you awake but still you didn’t really budge.  
“Let me sleep” you complained and covered your head with the warm blanket. “Next time, sugar. Now you need to wake up.”  
You opened your eyes, pulling the blanket down and let them wander from Gabe’s in shadow casted form to your clock standing on your bedside table. “It’s not even three in the morning, what the hell” you grumbled. “A pregnant lady needs her sleep.”  
Suddenly you were pulled out of the comfort of your bed and instead stood on wobbly legs in your room.  
“What are you doing?” you questioned, holding onto Gabriel’s hands.  
“You wanted to see something, sugar.” Confused you freed one of your hands and rubbed your eyes.  
“My brain’s too tired to function, Gabe. Can’t it wait till, I don’t know, when the sun is shining?” you begged and suppressed a yawn. You could vaguely see the archangel shake his head in the darkness of your room.  
“Believe me, it will be worth it” he promised. You closed your eyes and rubbed the bridge of your nose. “I really hope you’re right.”

And suddenly when you opened your eyes again you weren’t in your room anymore. Confused you looked around. You were standing in the middle of a snowy landscape. Immediately you thought you would be cold but when you looked down at you, you saw that you were wearing a big coat, dark ski pants and a fluffy hat instead of your pajama.  
“What the hell” you whispered and turned around to look at Gabriel who -even though he didn’t really needed it- matched his outfit to yours. He stood behind you with a huge grin.  
“Look up, sugar” he said and so you did. You hold your breath as you looked at the clear night sky with thousands of twinkling stars. But they weren’t catching your attention, no. What had captured your imagination were the northern lights shining above your head. Magnificent colors danced above you, fading from green to blue to purplish pink. And even though your neck already started to hurt from constantly looking up you didn’t care, too fascinated by the alluring dance. It looked like you had dipped your head into another world, another universe full of beautiful, vivid colors that were swaying and changing, illuminating the world around you.  
“It’s amazing” you breathed when you felt the archangel take a step closer to you and turned around to meet Gabe’s gaze again. “Thank you.”  
Out of instinct you twirled the ring he had gave you before you looked up at the sky again, losing yourself in the endless colors swirling through the carpet of stars on this cold September night in who knows which country you were right now.

“Dean and Sam will kill you if they figure out you let me leave the bunker” you stated with your eyes still glued to the aurora lights.  
“Not if you don’t tell them” Gabriel noted.  
You turned around, wanted to say something but when you opened your mouth to speak only a shallow breath escaped out of it as you wrapped your arms around your stomach. Twisting your face into a frown you leaned forward.  
“(Y/N)?!” Gabriel asked panicked and walked in front of you. He put his hands on your shoulders to straighten you up again. “Are you alright? Are you in pain? What’s going on?”  
For a few more seconds you didn’t answer, stared at the ground with your arms still tightly wrapped around yourself. You felt it again and it was then you realized what this was. You let out a pained laugh.  
“Yes, everything’s fine” you reassured the worried archangel with a small smile. Grabbing one of his hands which were still resting on your shoulder you directed it to your still growing bump. You had to wait a few moments with your hand on top of his before you felt it again. Gabriel flinched and you still saw worry in his eyes but when he looked up from your stomach and searched for your gaze, he slowly relaxed when he saw the softness in your eyes.

“Are these…?”  
“Her first kicks? Yes.”

In the next couple of seconds you saw every emotion washing over his face. Happiness, relief, love, peace, joy but also worry, fear and panic. But it wasn’t the type of panic that shook to your core, making your tense up and freeze. No, it was that type of panic a soon to be Dad had when realizing he would have to care for a small helpless baby soon. It was the first time you saw this fatherly panic on his face ever since the beginning, ever since the big news of you being pregnant.  
“She’s quite strong. Knocked the air right out of me” you huffed while intervening your free hand with his other hand.  
“Archangel genes” Gabriel laughed.  
“Yes” you breathed, leaning into his touch with a smile. You two stayed like that for many moments more, enjoying each other’s presence underneath the fantastical sky. You twirled the ring on your finger again. You felt the happiest ever since all this had started. This was probably the happiest day you had in a long time.

____________________

_**Pregnancy week 30:**_  
You felt like you had eaten a bowling ball or something like that. Your belly was extremely round and weighted a total of proud 25 pounds more of which the baby accounted for about 3 pounds. It was late October so you had about 2 and a half more months to life. You calculated with the help of your friend (F/N) that the baby would be due around the second week of January. Having these thoughts were scary. Normally the dated day of birth was something the parents craved, finally being able to hold their baby in their hands. But you, you were resenting it, you feared it. You thought you had left these thoughts behind but they haunted you even more now that the day got closer and closer.

The last few months were hard, being pregnant in summer were hard but luckily the bunker could be regulated so you never really felt to hot. But now you were freezing even though the heater operates at full stretch so you just wrapped yourself into blankets all the time just like now. You were sitting on the sofa in the library again, the cup of tea you had been drinking was already empty. You sighed, feeling lonely. The guys had left a few days ago for a hunt which had required all of them so you were left behind for possible research again. You wanted nothing more than to cuddle with your favorite archangel right now and it seemed like he had heard your silent wish.  
You heard the unmistakably flutter of wings behind you and turned your head to look at him. “Gabe? What are you doing here? Is the hunt already finished?” you asked, looking around in search for the others but nobody was there.  
“No, it’s just me” he declared.  
“And what are you doing here then?”  
“I just wanted to spend some time with my two beautiful girls” Gabriel said and sat down beside you. You snorted because of his cheesy comment but put your head on his shoulder anyway, nuzzling into his side still wrapped in your blanket as he laid one hand on your stomach waiting for a kick. Your little, heavy light bulb grew very active ever since you saw the northern lights but she seemed to like to kick around at night and sleep during the day.

“I don’t want to ruin the mood” you said after a long time of silence in which your thoughts continued to suffocated you. “…but I’m afraid, Gabe.”  
You didn’t move or look up just pressed yourself flat against him.  
“I just… wish I could hold her before I..” you didn’t finish but you knew Gabriel understood what you meant.  
“I’m sorry, sugar” he said nuzzling his face in your hair and kissing the very top of your head.  
“You don’t have to be, Gabriel, it’s not your fault. And I wanted to have the baby so I just have to come to terms with the consequences of that decision” you explained.  
“Give me some of the credit, too, sweetcheeks” he cupped your face with one hand, directing your gaze at him as his face hovered inches above yours. “I worked very hard on that baby.” You tried to bite back the laugh bubbling in your throat as you pushed his face away from you.  
“Gabe!” you screeched embarrassed even though he was the only one in the bunker. Giggling you shook your head. “Nice to see you didn’t change since the pregnancy started.”  
“I’ll never change, you know that, sugar.”  
You shook your head in disapproval. “That’s not true, you did change” you noted. “You stopped your playboy days and stayed by my side.”  
“Ah, well. You’re just so interesting. How could I not stay a little longer to figure all the ways out to make you come undone” he said and wiggled his eyebrows as you slapped his shoulder with a gloomy look in your eyes.  
“I take that back, still one hundred percent the same archangel that I met years ago.” Crossing your arms before your chest you held your head high as you ignored his laughter.

“Oh, come on, honeybun” Gabriel laughed. “Don’t ignore me.” You huffed, giving him the cold shoulder while desperately trying to suppress your own laughter.  
“Stop ignoring me, (Y/N) or I will have to take drastic measures” he playfully growled and if you had turned around to look at him you probably would have seen the desire bubbling in his eyes. “You now I can’t resist when you play hard to get.”  
Finally, you turned around to meet his fiery gaze.  
“Oh, really?” you asked innocently. “I never noticed.”  
Your faces were now only inches away from each other, his breath hot on your lips as he tried to hold back. It was nice seeing you still had this effect on him. You loved to watch him try to suppress it, to not give in and still losing to it every time: his desire for you.

“You know, we are alone right now” you said with a grin as your eyes darted between Gabe’s and his lips.  
“Oh, I know” Gabriel growled as his gaze fixated on your mouth. “And I intend to relish every second of it.”

____________________

_**Pregnancy week 34:**_  
Only about six more weeks to live. It felt like a countdown. You tried to enjoy and appreciate every day and every second you had left, spent a lot of time with Gabriel, Dean, Sam or Cas. However, you couldn’t prevent or deny that you were getting more distant. You didn’t do it intentionally, or at least you thought so. Okay, maybe you tried to make everything easier for you and the guys. You would leave them, there was no going around that even though you knew Dean hadn’t abandoned the plan of finding another solution, a way of saving you. It was just written in his genes apparently. But he hadn’t brought anything up and you knew it was hopeless. The only thing you could think of was making a deal with a demon. Your life for someone else’s but you wouldn’t allow anyone to sacrifice themselves for you. And you weren’t even sure if a demon could grant this wish, if they had more power than a half angel child.

The last few weeks you had mayor back pains because your stomach had grown so much. Every sleeping position was uncomfortable, sitting was unbearable. Your bump was so big now you couldn’t even put on shoes on your own. You felt more useless and moody, too but you weren’t sure if it was because of the hormones or because you knew it would happen soon, it would end soon.

You put one hand on your stomach, feeling the little light bulb (it became an agreed nickname for the baby between you and Gabe) move around. You noticed that she liked to lie on the right side more than on the left, leaving a little elevation there.  
Smiling you caressed your unborn baby.  
You just wished you had more time.

____________________

_**Pregnancy week 38:**_  
It was the fore last week but on a brighter spirit it was also Christmas. You haven’t really celebrated Christmas ever since you were a child, ever since your parents were still alive. Of course, when you teamed up with Sam and Dean you exchanged gifts you had bought the day before but it was never a huge deal. You never really cared about the presents anyway. So, you expected that wouldn’t change even if it was your last ever Christmas. You had stayed in bed all day, trying to find some rest after your baby girl had kept you awake almost all night. Was that why every mom awaited the birth so desperately? To finally sleep again and be free from all those pregnancy symptoms?

A heavy sigh left your lips as you opened your eyes to look at the clock. It was about four pm and if you didn’t stand up soon you wouldn’t find sleep this night, too. With a groan you rolled out of bed and rubbed your eyes. Maybe hanging out with the guys would lift your spirit. Thinking about them … you haven’t seen them all day. Furrowing your eyebrows, you wondered what they were possibly doing. Had they found another hunt? Were they researching something? Stretching your back you slowly began your way to the library in search for anyone.  
“Guys?” you asked as you turned around the corner, still rubbing your sleepy eyes. “What were you doing all da-” you froze as you laid eyes on the library. The room was fully decorated with Christmas lights and even a small Christmas tree was standing in one corner, decked out with balls and lights.

“What the hell” you mumbled and stepped into the room, your eyes glued to Sam and Dean who were putting the last decorations on the tables.  
“Oh, fuck” Dean said after noticing you. “Ehm, surprise?”  
You chuckled. “Well, yeah. I am surprised. Why are you decorating the library.”  
“We thought we should celebrate Christmas this time” Sam explained, leaving out the obvious reason why. You nodded. “I appreciate it but I hope you didn’t get me any presents because I was unable to buy anything for you.”  
The two brothers shook their heads.  
“Nope, no gifts. Only decorations and something festive to eat” Dean declared.  
“It’s gonna be burgers, right?” you questioned and crossed your arms before your chest. The slight blush on Dean’s cheeks told you enough.  
“Good, because I’m starving and would kill for a burger right now.”

“Did I hear someone say burger?”

You looked at the big entrance, seeing Gabe with bags in his hands.  
“Because I just so happen to have some.”  
Laughing you sat down on one of the chairs, awaiting the festive meal. The three guys sat down too and Cas joined you soon after even though he didn’t eat anything. At first you just looked around the room, eyes filled with childish wonder. You had missed the warm lights, the smell of Christmas that came just because of the atmosphere around you.  
You quickly lost yourself in conversation. Chatting about anything and everything. After a long time, you didn’t worry, didn’t fear the next day, the next week. You lived and just enjoyed the moment. The warmth that surrounded you, the smiles on their faces and the sound of laughter. This is what you always wanted. And you realized that your bucket list was finished, your last wish: having a peaceful family dinner.

____________________

_**Pregnancy week 39:**_  
Only about one week left.  
However, you weren’t thinking about that just yet because today was New Year’s Eve. Sam and Dean had bought some fireworks they wanted to set of which was why you were sitting outside of the bunker, wrapped in a blanket in Gabriel’s arms. The Winchesters had oh so nicely agreed to let you come outside too.  
“How much time do we have left?” Dean asked, already hurrying with setting up all the fireworks in bottles on the street. You freed one arm from Gabriel’s hug and looked at your phone. “Two minutes.”  
“Shit, gotta hurry” Dean cursed. You laughed at him as he tried to work faster, ordering Cas to help him.  
“One thirty… One fifteen… One minute” you continued to count down.  
“Shut up.”  
Giggling you put your phone away again after seeing Sam grabbing his to start the thirty second countdown in a few. Nuzzling back into Gabriel’s side you glanced up at him only to see that his gaze had already been on you.

“Hey” you mumbled with a smile.  
“Hey to you, too” he quietly laughed as he pushed back a strand of hair from your face. Immediately you lost yourself in his warm eyes, the cold night air long forgotten. His face was already so close to yours that you felt his breath on your lips.

“Thirty” you heard Sam said.

You had to wait thirty seconds until you could finally kiss him? You huffed a breath in annoyance as your hands found their place on Gabe’s chest.  
“Impatient?” Gabriel grinned. You glared at him.  
“As if you weren’t.”

“Twenty.”

“Oh, I can live without a kiss” the archangel stated with a smirk. You raised one eyebrow at him before grinning evilly. “Oh, is that so?”  
You put your hands away from his chest and turned your head forward again, looking at Dean who was armed with one windproof lighter in each hand. You couldn’t suppress your laughter when you saw his silly stance. He seemed ready to tackle the fireworks to the ground. You hadn’t seen him act this childish in a long time.  
You felt Gabriel squirm beside you which only made you grin even more.

“Ten.”

“(Y/N)” the archangel growled lowly.

“Nine.”

You glanced at him from the corner of your eyes.

“Eight.”

“I thought you said-” you turned around to meet his eyes completely.

“Seven.”

“-you could live without a kiss from me?” you challenged him.

“Six.”

He huffed.

“Five.”

Stretching up you were the one to tease him with your hot breath on his mouth.

“Four.”

“Well” Gabriel started and placed his arms to either of your sides, caging you in.

“Three.”

You felt his body heat springing over to you as his eyes darted to your lips still stretched into a smile.

“Two.”

“Not now” he finally said.

“One!”

He grabbed your face in his hands and closed the gap between you two just as Sam shouted “Zero!”.  
Melting into the kiss you pressed your hands against his chest again and closed your eyes. However, the grin on your lips stayed as you responded the kiss. Silently moaning as Gabriel’s hand wandered down your sides, leaving a tingling sensation behind, you stretched upward, pressing into him. This kiss was the sweetest you had ever shared with the archangel. Soft, gentle, slow. There was no intention behind it, no raw desire but love. So, you let yourself relax in his arms as the fireworks took of behind you, buzzing through the night sky.  
“Who was impatient now?” you asked after breaking the kiss, your lips still only barely apart.  
“Not my fault, I just can’t resist you.”  
“You’re so cheesy when you want” you laughed and closed the gap between you again in another soft kiss that quickly grew more passionate and daring. You wrapped your arms around his neck, stroking through his hair and slightly tugging at their ends. He groaned against your lips and let his hands wander too. They quickly found their place only barely above your bum as he pressed you against him as far as possible with your baby bump. You felt warm and safe, like being encased in fluffy clouds and soft blankets, like if he had wrapped his wings around that you were unable to see. You parted with a gasp, sucking in breaths of air with a laugh as you looked up the archangel.

“I love when you laugh and your eyes crinkle up” Gabriel whispered which only made laugh again and then smiling like a fool.  
“Are you growing soft on me” you teased.  
“I am always soft for you” he said without missing a beat. You felt your face heat up but forced yourself to not break the eye contact.  
“I love you” you mumbled with half lidded eyes. Gabriel chuckled, hugging you close.  
“I love you, too, sugar.”

You stayed outside for a while longer, talking with each other while looking up at the stars. But at about 1 am it was too cold to stay outside any longer so everyone slowly packed their drinks and the empty bottles for the fireworks and began their way back into the bunker. You let out a sigh as you heaved yourself up with Gabriel’s help, smiling appreciatingly up at him and tried to find your balance. Just as you were standing safely on your legs and took one step forward you felt it. Bending forward you pressed one hand against your stomach and blindly searched for Gabriel to steady yourself with the other one.  
“(Y/N), is everything alright?” he asked, grabbing your outstretched arm. You growled in response, biting your lip, almost drawing blood.  
“Ju-just a contraction. Probably just Braxton Hicks contractions” you muttered under your breath and straightened up again after you were sure it was done. “Are you sure?” You nodded, letting go of Gabriel and taking one step forward only for your knees to give in. You yelped in shock but luckily Gabriel caught you before you could hit the ground. Another groan of pain left your lips as you let yourself be kept upright by the archangel just as another wave of pain hit you. Your lips parted, sharply sucking in the cold winter air, as you tried to get the words out. “Or ma-maybe they’re real contractions” you stammered.

You slumped back down, only kept up by Gabriel’s arms while your vision got fuzzy and pain shot through you up from your stomach. You heard him yell for Sam, Dean and Cas who had already gone inside but you didn’t really register it. It was absurd. Everything seemed so unreal to you and in the same time frighteningly real, too. Was this … it?  
“Gabe” you said not even really knowing why as a nauseous feeling washed over you. Clinging onto him you blinked a few times, trying to make out his face. “I-I need your help.”  
He heaved you into his arms without another word, hurrying inside as fast as possible.

“What’s the matter?” Sam asked, looking up from his seat in the library. You only cried out in pain, curling into Gabe’s chest.  
“She’s having contractions” Gabriel said and walked past the three men in the direction of your room. They hastily stood up and ran after him, frantically shouting all the time.  
“Real ones? The real deal?” Dean asked worried.  
“Yes!” you yelled with tears in your eyes as a wave of heat crashed over your body.  
Gabriel kicked your door open and then laid you down on your bed. Panicking you looked up at the ceiling. This wasn’t how it was supposed to go, it was too early and your friend wasn’t even in town yet. They had promised to come by to help with the birth giving process. You had no clue what to do and the guys had non either. They were panicking too, asking and shouting about what was supposed to happen.  
“Gabe… Gabriel” you forced over your lips, looking to your side, searching for his eyes. He immediately had his attention on you with his eyebrows furrowed and teary eyes. “Call (F/N).”  
He nodded, not hesitating and grabbed your phone.

“(Y/N)? What’s up?” their voice rang through the speaker only seconds later but you were unable to answer as another painful contraction hit you. This was happening way to fast. Was this the angel side of your baby? Wasn’t there supposed to be a pause between the contractions? How were you supposed to breath through all this pain?  
“Here’s Gabriel” the archangel managed to get out. “(Y/N) just got into labor.”  
“What?! (Y/N)!” your friend yelled as a wave of shock also washed over them.  
“Hey” Gabriel said to get their attention. “We… she needs your help now. You have to tell us what to do.”  
If you hadn’t been in labor you would have been amazed by Gabe’s calm voice. But one look at his face told you that it was only a facade, that he was more panicked than any of the other guys inside the room.  
“Okay, okay. At first … tell me how far apart the contractions are” your friend requested after a few deep breaths to calm themselves down. Gabriel looked back at you and when your eyes met you felt the next one hit you.

“There is no time between them or at least … there’s always pain. They are coming very fast. I-” you were able to groan when the pain washed away for a few seconds. “I think it’s because of the angel genes. They’re very strong and painful.”  
“Alright, no time to lose then” your friend mumbled probably more to themselves. “You have to lay on your back, put a pillow behind your neck so it’s more comfortable for you and you have to get rid of the pants.” You looked at Gabe again, signaling him that you needed help with that. He nodded, putting the phone on your bedside table and helped you out of your pants. It was weird being exposed like that but to be fair you didn’t really have much time to think about that as another wave of pain crushed over you, pressing your lungs down.  
“Someone has to check on the status of the baby” (F/N) said and maybe not very surprisingly Cas volunteered to do so. He seemed to have calmed down a bit while Sam and Dean were still pacing around.  
“Hoist your legs up so you can build up more strength and when the next contraction hits you have to press. And don’t forget to breathe!” You followed their instructions without question.

“(Y/N)?” they asked after a few seconds. You answered with a half yelp that somewhat resembled a “Yes?”.  
“I wish I was here to help you, I’m sorry.”  
“No, don’t be. I wanted you to enjoy New Year’s Eve, too. Life is just unpredictable” you managed to say but after that everything became fuzzy again. This wasn’t normal right? No, it wasn’t. You were dying. This was the end. The realization hit you suddenly and almost knocked the air out of your lungs. You would die today. You whimpered, unable to form any words as you once again blindly reached out for Gabriel. A hand found yours and you immediately felt that it was his palm squeezing yours reassuringly. Your vision cleared only slightly and when you made out the archangel’s face you saw the tears he had forced back all those weeks, the tears he had never let himself cry.

“Can you see something already?” Was that Dean speaking? You couldn’t really tell but you knew that the one to answer should be Cas. “Yes, I can see some of the head.”

“Is she still breathing.”  
“Yes! Now stop worrying her even more!” That had to be Gabe as his hand began to squeeze you harder.

“You’re doing great” the words echoed in your mind again and again and again.

Was that Gabriel?  
You felt the tears wet your cheeks. You loved him so much. You didn’t want this. You wanted more time. Why weren’t you given more time? Why did this happen to you? Were you doomed from the very beginning? You couldn’t breath, the pain was too much, your whole body just stiffened up.

“(Y/N).”

Was this some sort of punishment? The contractions seemed to get even more frequent and even though you were supposed to press you felt your strength leave your body quickly. But this baby had to live, you wanted your baby girl to live. Squeezing the hand in yours tightly you focused every last drip of strength into pushing your baby out.

“Out.”  
“She’s out.”  
Your baby was out. You were still breathing. Was that screaming?

“Gabe” you gasped as the room began to spin. You were so exhausted. All your energy seemed to have been sucked out of you. And that was when you noticed your vision getting out of focus once more but this time it seemed different … final. A wave of panic crashed over you. No, no, no, no! You didn’t want to go. You wanted to reach out to Gabe, opened your mouth. Say something!  
Another wave of pain tore through you, left you breathless. What was happening? Tears were streaming out of your eyes but you were able to detect one face looking down at you. Worried, honey colored eyes. Gabe! No, you- just say something! Say you love him! Your thoughts screamed at you to say anything… but you were unable to. You had no energy left. Everything turned to darkness.

____________________

“(Y/N)!” you squirmed under your blanket, not ready to wake up just yet. You felt something, or someone next to you and a hand on your shoulder slowly shaking you away but still you didn’t really budge.

“Let me sleep” you complained and covered your head with the warm blanket. “Next time, sugar. Now you need to wake up.”

You opened your eyes, pulling the blanket down and let them wander to Gabe’s in shadow casted Form. Frowning you slowly sat up. This felt strangely familiar, like you were just experiencing a déjà-vu.

You sighed and followed Gabriel’s instructions as he hoisted you up.

“Believe me, it will be worth it” he promised. You closed your eyes and rubbed the bridge of your nose. “I really hope you’re right.”

The next time you opened your eyes you stood in a snow covered landscape. “What-”

“Look up, sugar” he said and so you did. The sight left you breathless. Vivid colors were moving above you in a strange, hypnotic dance. Greens and blues and bright pinks. You were speechless. These were the northern lights.

“It’s amazing” you whispered and pushed done strand of hair back. “Thank you.”

This was all so familiar. Did you live through this before? You frowned, about to ask Gabriel when you felt a dull pain rush through your stomach. Gasping you leaned forward, wrapping your arms around yourself. This was strange.

“(Y/N)?!” Gabriel asked panicked and walked in front of you. He put his hands on your shoulders to straighten you up again. “Are you alright? Are you in pain? What’s going on?” Yes, indeed. What was going on? What was this pain? The thoughts of a possible déjà-vu vanished in an instance as your mind just accepted everything.

For a few more seconds you didn’t answer him and instead stared at the ground with your arms still tightly wrapped around yourself. You felt it again and it was then you realized what this was. You let out a pained laugh.

“Yes, everything’s fine” you reassured the worried archangel with a small smile. Grabbing one of his hands which were still resting on your shoulder you directed it to your still growing bump. You had to wait a few moments with your hand on top of his before you felt it again. Gabriel flinched and you still saw worry in his eyes but when he looked up from your stomach and searched for your gaze, he slowly relaxed when he saw the softness in your eyes.

“Are these…?”

“Her first kicks? Yes.”

In the next couple of seconds you saw every emotion washing over his face. Happiness, relief, love, peace, joy but also worry, fear and panic. But it wasn’t the type of panic that shook to your core, making your tense up and freeze. No, it was that type of panic a soon to be Dad had when realizing he would have to care for a small helpless baby soon. It was the first time you saw this fatherly panic on his face every since the beginning, ever since the big news of you being pregnant.

“She’s quite strong. Knocked the air right out of me” you huffed while intervening your free hand with his other hand.

“Archangel genes” Gabriel laughed.

“Yes” you breathed, leaning into his touch with a smile. You two stayed like that for many moments more, enjoying each other’s presence underneath the fantastical sky.

It indeed was your happiest day.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a tumblr! (magicrowiswritingstuff)  
> I'm more active and easier to reach there.
> 
> Also, I would love any feedback! :D

**Author's Note:**

> I purposefully didn’t state that the reader is pregnant in the beginning so it would be as surprising as it is in the story. Did I succeed?🤔  
> Also, please tell me if y’all want a sequel to this.
> 
> Also also: I have a tumblr! (magicrowiswritingstuff)  
> I'm more active and easier to reach there.


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